i dont know why but i jus cant say no to them.

today was a pretty good day so far. i wish i had things a little more figured out. i think soon i will though. i want to make it. i hope i can.

so i saw my parents for the first time in a couple of weeks today. it was good to see them. we talked about our house the one i grew up in for 21 years. and my parents built about 40 years ago. i never thought i would see the day my parents would lose our house, but its for sure now. we will have maybe till the end of the month or little more ( Read more... )

so i woke up about some time around 4 something in the morning and starting coughing up blood. it was pretty sweet. now my whole throat hurts and feels very crazy. so maybe the end is near. whatevs though. lets do it, maybe i am tired of all this pain and anxiety of when its going to happen. so fucking jus do it. so yeah thats my life, ( Read more... )

life is one speed bump after another. let me live, please. i will hope....i will.

now you see me, now you dont. wish you could have but you wont.

please, if in fact i do die soon....in which i am afraid may be for real. come see me and pay respects. i would for you. my heart i do not think is going to last much longer. and i am to stubborn to go to the doc. jus please...its getting harder every day. please, thats all i ask.

today reminds me of why to be alive.

its so much easier than you would think. that pertaining to, well everything in life.

you know whats fucked up? that i can go to a public library and write in livejournal, but i cant view myspace because it says adult/nudity. i am for sure and i can find some nudity on this website and adult shit. that piss me off. damn you library. hang out session tonight, its friday and i dont have a job. call my cell or my house. i mean