The Way to Your Heart (Square Two: Food) - 32 Recs
Square 1: Ageplay Recs
Square 2: Food Recs
Square 3: Vehicular Recs
Square 4: Subspace/Headspace Recs
Square 5: Verbal Humiliation Recs
When I saw the "food" square in this Bingo line, I was at first stumped. I couldn't think of any stories involving the licking-off of whipped cream or chocolate sauce or the insertion of cucumbers and whatnot.* Most of the fics I've found on the Inception kink meme that feature a character having an erotic experience eating chocolate or watching someone else fellate an ice cream cone or lollipop haven't moved me.
*Wait, I just remembered topaz_eyes's House/Wilson popsicle story, Cool Treats. Yum! Also, brr.
Anyway. But then! Then it occurred to me that there have been several sweet-pun fully intended-stories where one character is a chef or a sommelier or runs a bakery or coffee shop, and woos their beloved with or over food and drink. Or where the same happens except it is not an AU. Or where there is food and platonic love. Fandom being fandom, also there are stories where one or more characters are food and are also in love.
To cite some favorites from Inception and SGA*:
*as before, assume Arthur/Eames and John/Rodney unless otherwise noted
Food-related AUs
Inception
"food has got to be as central to life as sex, if you think about it…"
~summer days and summer nights (are long)
I've Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile (The Only Living Boy in New York) by gyzym (plus a crapton of accompanying art) - This is a really wonderful story about finding a person to love and also finding a career to love. Eames runs a coffee shop, and Arthur is a stressed-out, caffeine-dependent lawyer who comes in more and more often not only for Eames' specially made drinks but for companionship and to offload his amateur baked goods. Except it reads much better than that. As the author's notes say: "all good love stories start with a quadruple-shot latte."
A Piece of the Plate (Got Stuck in My Heart) by jibrailis - An ensemble Iron Chef AU, and another fic that is more than the sum of its parts. It's about falling in love with food and the people who make it, and the aftermath of breaking up with someone you're still in love with, and being so envious of someone's career that you can hardly stand to think about your own, and also steak au poivre and quail eggs. It's also happier than I just made it sound.
summer days and summer nights (are long) by wldnst - Arthur runs a restaurant and starts up a bitter correspondence with the food critic who gave it a mediocre review. Arthur likes pie metaphors and compares Eames to fruit, and his food is like an extension of himself. With Ariadne/Yusuf and Philippa Cobb. By one of my favorite writers to emerge from the kink meme, and who ironically does not write kink so much as witty PG-13-rated get-together stories.
Waiting On by thehoyden - The one where Arthur orders the same thing for breakfast every day in Eames' diner, until he doesn't.
Champion Sound by pyrimidine - The one where Arthur is a DJ and Eames mixes him special drinks.
Students, AU, a kiss, online games, and Eames in culinary school by ilovetakahana (warning, post above the comment!fic is picture-heavy) - Culinary student Eames brings over his "noodlings" (a.k.a. pies) when he hangs out with Arthur in his dorm.
Five Lives They Never Led: #3: Chefs by acidpop25 - Inception is a restaurant. Features seduction by pesto and jokes about extra-virgin olive oil (Arthur/Eames), chef's coat kink and sex in the kitchen (Dom/Mal).
untitled chocolatier AU by beetle - Eames keeps buying chocolates from Robert Fischer in the hope that his crush will take notice of him.
Love in the time of Marmite by sirona_gs and weatherfront - I'm not sure if this is a rec or not, but I haven't been able to forget it. Arthur has uncanny-perhaps magical-abilities to know what his customers want and to cook it for them exactly as they remember loving it. Shades of the food critic's childhood flashback from Ratatouille, plus a love story.
Tell Me You Didn't Put the Veal Down Your Pants by temperance_k - Eames somehow manages to win over the notoriously picky new floor manager/proofreader/whip-into-shape-r with his menu.
I only just came across skellerbvvt's extensive The Maillard Reaction, but on skim it looks right on target - a baker, a bistro owner, a blossoming kinky love story amidst edibles. Some of the recipes are even linked. skellerbvvt knows how to write a visceral story, although her fics run the risk of ending abruptly, so be warned.
Good to the Last Drop by jibrailis - In which Arthur refuses to let Eames sleep with him until they've finished their mission to extract the secret recipe for a popular juice box juice, but of course it's not that easy in any sense.
SGA
"You should always flirt with food critics."
"For the reviews?" Sheppard was smiling now.
"Because we're sensualists," Rodney said. "And we know what's good."
~ The Sweetest Thing
The Sweetest Thing by corinna_5 - True to its title. Food critics Rodney and Radek trek out to Brooklyn to try Sheppard's Pie. The breads, cakes and long-lost oven are almost as much a revelation as the man behind the counter. Has some great lines.
A Place on the Corner, which grew into the Foster's bakery AU, by cesare/almostnever and anatsuno (plus lots of cute chibi art) - John runs a bakery. Morning customer Rodney loves his muffins, and maybe more. With a little help from Radek.
Fair Trade series by esteefee - The coffee variation. John is a roaster and coffee shop owner, quiet and solemn and living with a chronic injury. Rodney is a customer who knows a good brew when he drinks it. They circle each other for a while. With OCs but also Ronon and Teyla.
…which reminds me that there is a whole subgenre of non-AU SGA stories involving Rodney and his coffee and the people who bring him same, but let's not go down that road right now.
Kiss Your Sassafras by perspi - Chocolatier AU snippet. John invites Rodney over to try a new kind of truffle.
Clean Plate Club series by yin_again - Sparks fly between the food prepper/chef (Rodney) and the food photographer (John), and they're not all from the blowtorch. There is strawberry-feeding, and waffles, and sushi.
Atlantis: The Opening, Balancing Act (oh, the calamari!) and Heat Wave (mm, olive oil) by linaerys - Atlantis is a Manhattan restaurant, Rodney is the chef, John is the bartender, Elizabeth runs the place, etc., and Sam works at Bobby Flay's. This set the bar for me for restaurant AUs.
The Hard Sel by aesc - Eh, so maybe the idea of the human tongue being able to differentiate three dozen kinds of salt has been discredited. That doesn't make this little fic any less charming. Rodney is a selmelier; John is impressed with his… caramels.
Romance at the Roadkill Grill by lamardeuse - Rodney relearns how to appreciate life, food and relationships when he leaves his high-profile television show to run a "backwater" restaurant in Maine as a favor to a friend.
Water Your Dreams by Amireal and Ladycat is more about lazy, we-just-met-but-you're-really-attractive sex on a boat than about getting off on food, but food is important to it as well, from the initial meeting at a bakery counter to the sex before and after a fresh fish dinner.
Food-themed Non-AUs
SGA
If I Knew You Were Coming by kassrachel is a really lovely story about John trying to cheer Rodney up after Rod's visit by convincing the Atlantis chefs to make him a bitty chocolate cake. There is conflict-and although being upset while facing a decadent dessert is one of the saddest everyday things I have encountered in film and fiction, here the situation is thankfully rescued-and happy resolution.
Sheppard's Pie by auburn - About pie, and friendship, and memories, and also pie. Lots of team in this one, with a strong John/Rodney thread.
844,739 Ways to Eat a Hamburger by minervacat - Team roadtrip fic that is actually more about Waffle House than hamburgers, and also friendship dynamics and snark. In my brainstorming notes for this post, next to this fic I wrote, There are a lot of waffles?
Inception
Les Halles by sorrynotsorry - Eames finds out Arthur is a foodie and wastes no time taking full advantage of this knowledge to make Arthur an elaborate dinner. They don't even make it through the meal.
ETA: Eat Me, Drink Me by ainsoph15 - Eames is the foodie and feeds the team a series of messy takeout items in an attempt to see Arthur in any state other than impeccable and composed. In the end, Arthur's the one who seduces Eames over a fancy dinner.
history of addiction by anonymous (warning for offhand mentions of strong themes in the first few paragraphs) - Eames discovers Arthur's big secret-he has a sweet tooth-and dreams up a series of international delights for him. It takes Arthur a while to let himself indulge in front of someone else.
And finally in this category, Don't Feed Me, Seymour by gyzym - I hurt myself laughing at this. Arthur cooks increasingly terrible dishes for Eames, who loves him and therefore forces them down until he can't anymore.
Anthropomorphized Food
The untitled one where Eames turns into a ham, and Ariadne is a little in love by jibrailis (scroll down) - Crack, crack, crackity crack. Also hilarity.
The untitled one where Arthur is a were-pineapple, also by jibrailis - See notes on the above. Arthur is cursed to turn into a pineapple when the full moon rises. You just have to go with it.
Stuck on You by darsynia - In which John and Rodney are ice cubes. Oh, SGA fandom. You were the weirdest until the were-pineapple came along.
The Epic Tale of Rodney & John, Two Girl Scout Cookies In Love by bitter_crimson/chagrined - If you have not experienced this picture-driven bit of brain-scarring madness, now is your chance.
…There must be some for House, too. Wasn't there an Iron Chef AU prompt at wilson_fest once? Any fics following on House and Wilson's cooking class or House turning himself into a home chef? ETA: Yep, go to comments for 10 15 more.
…
And may I just conclude by saying it was amusing to go to delicious.com to track down some of these.
My Bingo card
Square 2: Food Recs
Square 3: Vehicular Recs
Square 4: Subspace/Headspace Recs
Square 5: Verbal Humiliation Recs
When I saw the "food" square in this Bingo line, I was at first stumped. I couldn't think of any stories involving the licking-off of whipped cream or chocolate sauce or the insertion of cucumbers and whatnot.* Most of the fics I've found on the Inception kink meme that feature a character having an erotic experience eating chocolate or watching someone else fellate an ice cream cone or lollipop haven't moved me.
*Wait, I just remembered topaz_eyes's House/Wilson popsicle story, Cool Treats. Yum! Also, brr.
Anyway. But then! Then it occurred to me that there have been several sweet-pun fully intended-stories where one character is a chef or a sommelier or runs a bakery or coffee shop, and woos their beloved with or over food and drink. Or where the same happens except it is not an AU. Or where there is food and platonic love. Fandom being fandom, also there are stories where one or more characters are food and are also in love.
To cite some favorites from Inception and SGA*:
*as before, assume Arthur/Eames and John/Rodney unless otherwise noted
Food-related AUs
Inception
"food has got to be as central to life as sex, if you think about it…"
~summer days and summer nights (are long)
I've Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile (The Only Living Boy in New York) by gyzym (plus a crapton of accompanying art) - This is a really wonderful story about finding a person to love and also finding a career to love. Eames runs a coffee shop, and Arthur is a stressed-out, caffeine-dependent lawyer who comes in more and more often not only for Eames' specially made drinks but for companionship and to offload his amateur baked goods. Except it reads much better than that. As the author's notes say: "all good love stories start with a quadruple-shot latte."
A Piece of the Plate (Got Stuck in My Heart) by jibrailis - An ensemble Iron Chef AU, and another fic that is more than the sum of its parts. It's about falling in love with food and the people who make it, and the aftermath of breaking up with someone you're still in love with, and being so envious of someone's career that you can hardly stand to think about your own, and also steak au poivre and quail eggs. It's also happier than I just made it sound.
summer days and summer nights (are long) by wldnst - Arthur runs a restaurant and starts up a bitter correspondence with the food critic who gave it a mediocre review. Arthur likes pie metaphors and compares Eames to fruit, and his food is like an extension of himself. With Ariadne/Yusuf and Philippa Cobb. By one of my favorite writers to emerge from the kink meme, and who ironically does not write kink so much as witty PG-13-rated get-together stories.
Waiting On by thehoyden - The one where Arthur orders the same thing for breakfast every day in Eames' diner, until he doesn't.
Champion Sound by pyrimidine - The one where Arthur is a DJ and Eames mixes him special drinks.
Students, AU, a kiss, online games, and Eames in culinary school by ilovetakahana (warning, post above the comment!fic is picture-heavy) - Culinary student Eames brings over his "noodlings" (a.k.a. pies) when he hangs out with Arthur in his dorm.
Five Lives They Never Led: #3: Chefs by acidpop25 - Inception is a restaurant. Features seduction by pesto and jokes about extra-virgin olive oil (Arthur/Eames), chef's coat kink and sex in the kitchen (Dom/Mal).
untitled chocolatier AU by beetle - Eames keeps buying chocolates from Robert Fischer in the hope that his crush will take notice of him.
Love in the time of Marmite by sirona_gs and weatherfront - I'm not sure if this is a rec or not, but I haven't been able to forget it. Arthur has uncanny-perhaps magical-abilities to know what his customers want and to cook it for them exactly as they remember loving it. Shades of the food critic's childhood flashback from Ratatouille, plus a love story.
Tell Me You Didn't Put the Veal Down Your Pants by temperance_k - Eames somehow manages to win over the notoriously picky new floor manager/proofreader/whip-into-shape-r with his menu.
I only just came across skellerbvvt's extensive The Maillard Reaction, but on skim it looks right on target - a baker, a bistro owner, a blossoming kinky love story amidst edibles. Some of the recipes are even linked. skellerbvvt knows how to write a visceral story, although her fics run the risk of ending abruptly, so be warned.
Good to the Last Drop by jibrailis - In which Arthur refuses to let Eames sleep with him until they've finished their mission to extract the secret recipe for a popular juice box juice, but of course it's not that easy in any sense.
SGA
"You should always flirt with food critics."
"For the reviews?" Sheppard was smiling now.
"Because we're sensualists," Rodney said. "And we know what's good."
~ The Sweetest Thing
The Sweetest Thing by corinna_5 - True to its title. Food critics Rodney and Radek trek out to Brooklyn to try Sheppard's Pie. The breads, cakes and long-lost oven are almost as much a revelation as the man behind the counter. Has some great lines.
A Place on the Corner, which grew into the Foster's bakery AU, by cesare/almostnever and anatsuno (plus lots of cute chibi art) - John runs a bakery. Morning customer Rodney loves his muffins, and maybe more. With a little help from Radek.
Fair Trade series by esteefee - The coffee variation. John is a roaster and coffee shop owner, quiet and solemn and living with a chronic injury. Rodney is a customer who knows a good brew when he drinks it. They circle each other for a while. With OCs but also Ronon and Teyla.
…which reminds me that there is a whole subgenre of non-AU SGA stories involving Rodney and his coffee and the people who bring him same, but let's not go down that road right now.
Kiss Your Sassafras by perspi - Chocolatier AU snippet. John invites Rodney over to try a new kind of truffle.
Clean Plate Club series by yin_again - Sparks fly between the food prepper/chef (Rodney) and the food photographer (John), and they're not all from the blowtorch. There is strawberry-feeding, and waffles, and sushi.
Atlantis: The Opening, Balancing Act (oh, the calamari!) and Heat Wave (mm, olive oil) by linaerys - Atlantis is a Manhattan restaurant, Rodney is the chef, John is the bartender, Elizabeth runs the place, etc., and Sam works at Bobby Flay's. This set the bar for me for restaurant AUs.
The Hard Sel by aesc - Eh, so maybe the idea of the human tongue being able to differentiate three dozen kinds of salt has been discredited. That doesn't make this little fic any less charming. Rodney is a selmelier; John is impressed with his… caramels.
Romance at the Roadkill Grill by lamardeuse - Rodney relearns how to appreciate life, food and relationships when he leaves his high-profile television show to run a "backwater" restaurant in Maine as a favor to a friend.
Water Your Dreams by Amireal and Ladycat is more about lazy, we-just-met-but-you're-really-attractive sex on a boat than about getting off on food, but food is important to it as well, from the initial meeting at a bakery counter to the sex before and after a fresh fish dinner.
Food-themed Non-AUs
SGA
If I Knew You Were Coming by kassrachel is a really lovely story about John trying to cheer Rodney up after Rod's visit by convincing the Atlantis chefs to make him a bitty chocolate cake. There is conflict-and although being upset while facing a decadent dessert is one of the saddest everyday things I have encountered in film and fiction, here the situation is thankfully rescued-and happy resolution.
Sheppard's Pie by auburn - About pie, and friendship, and memories, and also pie. Lots of team in this one, with a strong John/Rodney thread.
844,739 Ways to Eat a Hamburger by minervacat - Team roadtrip fic that is actually more about Waffle House than hamburgers, and also friendship dynamics and snark. In my brainstorming notes for this post, next to this fic I wrote, There are a lot of waffles?
Inception
Les Halles by sorrynotsorry - Eames finds out Arthur is a foodie and wastes no time taking full advantage of this knowledge to make Arthur an elaborate dinner. They don't even make it through the meal.
ETA: Eat Me, Drink Me by ainsoph15 - Eames is the foodie and feeds the team a series of messy takeout items in an attempt to see Arthur in any state other than impeccable and composed. In the end, Arthur's the one who seduces Eames over a fancy dinner.
history of addiction by anonymous (warning for offhand mentions of strong themes in the first few paragraphs) - Eames discovers Arthur's big secret-he has a sweet tooth-and dreams up a series of international delights for him. It takes Arthur a while to let himself indulge in front of someone else.
And finally in this category, Don't Feed Me, Seymour by gyzym - I hurt myself laughing at this. Arthur cooks increasingly terrible dishes for Eames, who loves him and therefore forces them down until he can't anymore.
Anthropomorphized Food
The untitled one where Eames turns into a ham, and Ariadne is a little in love by jibrailis (scroll down) - Crack, crack, crackity crack. Also hilarity.
The untitled one where Arthur is a were-pineapple, also by jibrailis - See notes on the above. Arthur is cursed to turn into a pineapple when the full moon rises. You just have to go with it.
Stuck on You by darsynia - In which John and Rodney are ice cubes. Oh, SGA fandom. You were the weirdest until the were-pineapple came along.
The Epic Tale of Rodney & John, Two Girl Scout Cookies In Love by bitter_crimson/chagrined - If you have not experienced this picture-driven bit of brain-scarring madness, now is your chance.
…There must be some for House, too. Wasn't there an Iron Chef AU prompt at wilson_fest once? Any fics following on House and Wilson's cooking class or House turning himself into a home chef? ETA: Yep, go to comments for 10 15 more.
…
And may I just conclude by saying it was amusing to go to delicious.com to track down some of these.
My Bingo card