There is so much shit on my plate right now that I had to stop and tell the caterer I was full and that I had been full for about three days going on thirty. But the motherfucker just laughed at me and spit on my Pumas, while shoveling more and more heaping piles of "I'm gonna fuck you until you feel it in your spine. Until it reverberates through ( Read more... )

The Ghost of Mary Mayo.
MSU legend has it that the fourth floor of Mary Mayo is haunted by a girl believed to be Mary herself. The dorm sits tucked away in the old, dust laden northwest corner of campus. Mary walks the halls secretly hoping for someone to discover her burden. That night, we wanted to find her ( Read more... )

xscaryxcherryx killed her mother, just when I had given up all faith in Livejournal. You bring me gems, beautiful beatiful gems.

Killer looks! Nice rack. Would do in the butt immediately!Edit: I did a google search and this smells pretty fake. Damn, got my hopes up. First of all she claims to have switched to a new LJ when many of her friends commented with no ( Read more... )

Why are these assholes on my bed?


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Look at the card Alice gave me for V Day.


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If one more person informs me of the crazy snow they're having I am going to punch somebody through my computer screen. With my dick. Hey idiots, it's SNOW, you lived where you've lived for how long now? You should know that sometimes God gets a bit carried away, sprinkles a little too much cocaine on you and you get a blizzard ( Read more... )

Livejournal just gets stupider by the minute. Yes, I would like to buy a binary coding that represents digital flowers. Are they trying to edge what small number of smart non-idiot members left off the site? 'Cause it's honestly making me think about it. Anyway I'm making an LJ post at 8:30 on a Friday night (God forbid this will ever happen again ( Read more... )

Phone me three way please. When I was in high school, I was worrying about grades, my image, other people’s girlfriends, stupid faced teachers, and pimples. Not that I got pimples, but everybody else talked about them like they were some hot shit, so I felt I must indulge. White people's problems are totally my problems too. Yeah ( Read more... )

I don't usually do one liners, but I just have to say LOST is an amazing show. God, man.

Netflix - I can’t wait for the day where you can buy your groceries online and groxcery.com (because misspelling and X’s are cool) stuffs your food through your mailbox in a little refrigerated parcel. I mean it’s better than waiting in line at the store, right? And it’s better than real social interaction. And there are millions of items you can ( Read more... )