Everybody needs to comment on my new myspace pictures, by the way, as they're cool... www.myspace.com/agoodboyinbed

-Brian

The holidays depress everyone with nothing to take care of ( Read more... )

Do you know what Roberta Sparrow whispered to me when my dad almost hit her with the car? She said that every living creature on Earth dies alone ( Read more... )

Last night I fucked a girl wearing a Harvey Danger shirt.

This means I'm one step closer to my own personal nirvana.

-Brian

Today at the shack one of the guys was asking everybody what the greatest thing a girl has ever said to you was. I forgot my company and said "I didn't think that I was beautiful until I had sex with you." For which I was laughed at. I should've said "Brian, I'm bleeding." And made it clear that she was not a virgin, nor was she on her period, and ( Read more... )

I'll hand deliver a dollar to anyone who comments that I'm ugly.

-Brian

Bishop610's Halloween party:

abc760soup dressed as Cameron Diaz riding a raccoon, though it looked more like something dead, but what, specifically, you can't tell.

anyquestions dressed as a new superhero: Armadillo Cavalier.

asianpunk dressed as a skeleton.

blacknightmare dressed as a mummy.

bynormajean dressed as Julia Roberts.

caseyness dressed as a ( Read more... )

... Ever see one of those Pro-Lifers wearing one of those pins that say something like "Right to Life!" or "Abortion kills!" or something? Here's what you do ( Read more... )

I'm a Final Fantasy geek obsessed with street fights. Figure that shit out.

-Brian

I'm not a porn star for the same reason Rodney Mullen doesn't compete in skateboarding competitions.

-Brian