If you had been nicer, it would've worked out better.
I'm not a line of coke, don't snort at me from across the table.
I'm not a five dollar bill, don't pick me up off of the street.
But, I am a cargo truck full of cyanide.

Flip me over and we hope that you choke.

-Brian

It might be the bleeding ulcer ( Read more... )

Cut to inferno ( Read more... )

A little symbiote crawled into my ear last night ( Read more... )

As long as there is oxygen in my lungs ( Read more... )

So, today me and a few friends were at an adult novelty store to purchase pornography. I immediately found my way to the fetish and bondage section while my friends lauded over the collections of interracial lesbian movies. "I've got Please Fuck My Wife #14 over here." Someone was heard to say. Infidelity is all the rage these days ( Read more... )

At the apex of a dream my eyes are flung open
And I am gone from that place.
Lying next to me is my muse,
Or, is she my illness?
Cold beads of sweat suspended on her freckled brow.
The sound of birds singing,
And then nothingness.
Oh to be back in the dream
And outside this drama-ridden masquerade.

-Brian

I emailed this to myself from my phone because I thought it was funny ( Read more... )

Nick came home the other day from work, and I had borrowed his apartment to have some sex, and he walks in and I'm sitting on his velour couch gingerly swishing Pinnacle vodka around in my glass, my fingers glisten with it ( Read more... )

“Hi Tammy, I brought Aubrey to see your daughter, Trista, this morning. Congratulations on your new granddaughter ( Read more... )