And other requests from Brian that will go unanswered ( Read more... )

Great, now Kat's mad at me. Why do I always get jewed out of the pretty things? This could take hours to fix. I just want the pretty things. Fuckin' jews.

Clerks 2, August 18th. Snooch muhfuckin' nooch.

-Brian

I don't know anyone who goes to ITT Tech, because, obviously, if you're a rational human, you wouldn't go there, but their latest commercial has the following script ( Read more... )

Stephen Colbert is a genius. I rarely rip things off from other people, but the "Dead to me" and "On notice" lists are pretty much the best idea ever and I'm pretty sure Mr. Colbert would agree with me that everyone needs to make their own lists of things that fit into those two categories. So get to work on them, all of you. Here's the first few ( Read more... )

Yes, Tupac. You are right. Also, you're not dead, you're hiding in a bunker in Michigan. I know you're there, I've seen your ass. Stop pretending your dead. It's lame ( Read more... )

... Walk into the dorm late in the morning ( Read more... )

... And other things I get away with saying ( Read more... )

1. Jodie Sweetin - Okay, yeah, I know what you're all thinking: Brian's talking about fucking Stephanie Tanner, I'm outta here. Yes, I am, but by now she's 24, and probably still cute, and show me one guy who wouldn't honestly like to throw their cock far enough down Steph Tanner's throat so that her eyes water, only to hear her come up for air and ( Read more... )

I'm having hacker issues again. Why? Because I'm too cool to not be brought down from the inside by some clever nogoodnik with a chip on his shoulder and a dot-rabbit. Gay ( Read more... )

So, yeah, I sure do love it when my personal life spills out onto the internet. It makes me cum, just a little bit. Anyway, speaking of my cum, here's what happened to me last night ( Read more... )