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Attracted to someone
His name is Kenneth. Pardon me for getting a little graphic, but I am seriously his willing slave.
His dark brown eyes. I could just lose myself in them. I cant help but smile when he smiles, even if he's not smiling at me.
He's best friends and living with my neighbor Brian and his girl, Lizette. They are all part of my new group of friends and I ( Read more... ) -
Crying
I'm having a weird night. I'm crying at random, though not really feeling incredibly sad or anything.
I get emotional, watching TV (Gilmore Girls). Then I think about my mom and I smile as I cry. It's very strange.
I'm allowing myself to cry, even now as I type this, but I feel okay doing it.
It's okay to cry and tonight I can't seem to stop.
It's so ( Read more... ) -
Brainstorming
I'm doing better.
I think a lot about my mom and Chester. A LOT.
I'm allowing myself to be vulnerable and even to get emotional, if I do. I don't hide it.
I think I may have an eating disorder. BED. I'm reading a book about it and about how to overcome it.
I want a boyfriend.
I'm on a dating site.
I want to hug Mike Shinoda like nobody's business.
I ( Read more... ) -
New beginnings
Wow, just read through my last post and things have changed.
That monday, I spend most of the day crying. It was good, but it was also scary because I couldn't control it.
Anyway, I have made some changes since.
My stepdad came over, one day and ended up leaving angry. Again, me and my big mouth. But seriously, the man cannot do anything! He's this ( Read more... ) -
Oh, the moods
So...today is actually a good day and I've missed that.
Let me recap;
July 8th, I lost my mom to cancer/bloodclots/whatever else the cancer was giving her.
I was fairly okay. I was living with her and my stepdad, but had been offered an apartment while she was sick. I took care of everything, regarding the undertaker, the service for the funeral and ( Read more... ) -
Horrible day.
Today started off horrible. I had a lot of thoughts about my mom, this morning and then I was stupid enough to get into the Discord chat thing and got into a fight with some bitch. I should really just ask if there is anyone above 30 in there because chances are that most of them are teenagers who think their world is endnig because of Chester and ( Read more... ) -
Another breakdown
Today, it's just too much. Everything. My mom, Chester and everything concerning my mom's...estate? Legacy? I don't know the right word.
Turns out that there might be a problem with the money that Frank is about inherit after my mom, because we have a lot of debt. Now, he's gone to find out how much he can sell his car for and I have figured out how ( Read more... ) -
Ghostly Chester?
Okay, so it's no secret that I believe in ghosts and spirits and the likes.
Today, I believe that Chester was with me. Yes, yes, some of you will roll your eyes and think that I need to be admitted or medicated or whatever. That's your prerogative and mine is to believe that he was there.
I went for a walk and put my spotify playlist on. I have a lot ( Read more... ) -
Oh, my poor temper.
Why are men so fucking helpless?! I know my mom didn't exactly help, by doing everything for him, but this is ridiculous! The man can't even read a fucking manual to a fucking washing machine.
Thank god, I will move out of here, soon enough!
