V is for Valium: Criminal Minds Fic
Author: Bitterfig
Title: V is for Valium
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Reid/Garcia
Summary: Reid was careful not to let his co-workers know about his drug use but one day he slipped….
Beta Reader: Fedink
Word Count: 815
Rating: PG-13
Contains: Drug use, accidental groping.
Author’s Note: Written forlawless523 for the A to Z Meme.
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Any illegal acts taking place within that fiction are NOT condoned by the author. Depictions of any questionable, illegal, or potentially illegal activity in said fiction does not mean that I condone, promote, support, participate in, or approve of said activity. I grasp the distinction between fiction and reality and trust that readers will do the same.
V is for Valium
Reid was careful about his drug use. Usually he took just enough to keep himself on an even keel, to take the edges off but not to get high. He didn’t crave intoxication, functional numbness was more his style.
Unfortunately sometimes things went wrong.
The drugs might be strong, or weak. Sometimes they would burn through his system leaving him shaking and wanting more. Sometimes they would linger long after they ought to have been metabolized and sometimes he would get fucked up. As much as Reid wanted his addiction to be an exact science it wasn’t.
There was a margin for error and it caught up with him on an otherwise insignificant Tuesday morning. He took no more than he usually did but he found himself reeling, unable to walk or think straight.
There was nothing to be done; he couldn’t go into work high so he called in sick. He claimed he had the flu and managed not to slur his words too much. With work safely out of the way he took a couple extra valium and resigned himself to a day of oblivion.
Said oblivion was rudely shattered at approximately 11:00 a.m. when Penelope Garcia appeared at his door. His brain was so addled that it didn’t occur to him to not answer the door until he already had.
“I was talking to Gideon and we both agreed that someone should come and look in on you,” she said. “You’ve seemed sort of off these past few weeks and I was thinking it might be more than just a virus…”
She stopped abruptly.
“Are you okay?” She asked.
“Uh huh,” Reid said nodding emphatically.
“There’s something wrong with your eyes,” Garcia said.
“No there’s not.”
“They’re glassy, your pupils are dilated. Oh my God, you’re on something.”
“Medicine. Flu medicine.”
“That’s awfully vague, Reid. When you had an ear infection last year you told me the molecular make-up of the meds they had you on. Maybe if you weren’t so high you could be more specific.”
“I’m not high.”
He meant to walk away from her, but he lost his balance and fell into her instead. She caught him and for a moment she was holding him against her full bosom. For an instant he forgot their argument and simply enjoyed it. Weren’t breasts supposed to represent the comfort of the mother after all? Not his mother of course. His mother didn’t have a body, only a brain, an intellect, a mind that had dominated all things by its strengths and then by its weaknesses. Mother not as a source of comfort but of anxiety.
He realized that he was saying most of this out loud and that his hands were firmly grasping Garcia’s breasts. He let go, he backed away.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“You don’t know what you’re doing, you’re all messed up. Tell me what you’re taking.” Garcia pleaded. She was near panic but controlling herself. “I need to know.”
Reid sunk to the floor, vaguely aware that his worst case scenario was coming true, that someone from work had discovered his secret.
“Drugs,” he finally said. “Narcotics, painkillers, sedatives. A is for Ambien, B is for Barbiturates, C is for Chloral Hydrate, D is for Dilaudid…. There are a whole bunch of other letters too, I just can’t remember them all even though I’m supposed to be so smart. S is for Seconal, T is for Triazolam, V is for Valium.” He remembered the additional pills he’d taken that morning. “V is definitely for Valium. Would you mind leaving now? I’d like to pass out.”
“No.” Garcia said. “There is no way I’m leaving you like this. I’m calling an ambulance. How is your central nervous system even functioning?” He must have nodded off, the next thing he realized she was on the floor beside him, shaking him awake.
“Don’t call anyone,” he said. “I’m okay. I’ll be okay.”
“You’re not okay. How long have you been doing this?”
“A while…”
“Since the Tobias Hankel case?”
“How did you know?”
“Something’s been off since then. We’ve all been worried about you. You haven’t been yourself, we want you back.”
“I am myself when I take the drugs. I’m who I should be. Nothing bothers me.”
“You’re killing yourself…”
“I’m staying alive. You don’t know what it’s like. When I don’t take the drugs everything hurts.”
“Because of what Hankel did to you?”
“Because of my mother. Because of my father. Because of who I am. It’s always hurt; I just never knew how to make the pain go away until Tobias showed me. “
She reached out, stroked his hair gently.
“You need help, Reid. Let me get you help.”
“Please, not yet. Promise you won’t tell anyone.”
She hugged him tight and started to cry.
“They’re going to know, baby,” she sobbed. “They’re going to know.”
Title: V is for Valium
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: Reid/Garcia
Summary: Reid was careful not to let his co-workers know about his drug use but one day he slipped….
Beta Reader: Fedink
Word Count: 815
Rating: PG-13
Contains: Drug use, accidental groping.
Author’s Note: Written forlawless523 for the A to Z Meme.
Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Any illegal acts taking place within that fiction are NOT condoned by the author. Depictions of any questionable, illegal, or potentially illegal activity in said fiction does not mean that I condone, promote, support, participate in, or approve of said activity. I grasp the distinction between fiction and reality and trust that readers will do the same.
V is for Valium
Reid was careful about his drug use. Usually he took just enough to keep himself on an even keel, to take the edges off but not to get high. He didn’t crave intoxication, functional numbness was more his style.
Unfortunately sometimes things went wrong.
The drugs might be strong, or weak. Sometimes they would burn through his system leaving him shaking and wanting more. Sometimes they would linger long after they ought to have been metabolized and sometimes he would get fucked up. As much as Reid wanted his addiction to be an exact science it wasn’t.
There was a margin for error and it caught up with him on an otherwise insignificant Tuesday morning. He took no more than he usually did but he found himself reeling, unable to walk or think straight.
There was nothing to be done; he couldn’t go into work high so he called in sick. He claimed he had the flu and managed not to slur his words too much. With work safely out of the way he took a couple extra valium and resigned himself to a day of oblivion.
Said oblivion was rudely shattered at approximately 11:00 a.m. when Penelope Garcia appeared at his door. His brain was so addled that it didn’t occur to him to not answer the door until he already had.
“I was talking to Gideon and we both agreed that someone should come and look in on you,” she said. “You’ve seemed sort of off these past few weeks and I was thinking it might be more than just a virus…”
She stopped abruptly.
“Are you okay?” She asked.
“Uh huh,” Reid said nodding emphatically.
“There’s something wrong with your eyes,” Garcia said.
“No there’s not.”
“They’re glassy, your pupils are dilated. Oh my God, you’re on something.”
“Medicine. Flu medicine.”
“That’s awfully vague, Reid. When you had an ear infection last year you told me the molecular make-up of the meds they had you on. Maybe if you weren’t so high you could be more specific.”
“I’m not high.”
He meant to walk away from her, but he lost his balance and fell into her instead. She caught him and for a moment she was holding him against her full bosom. For an instant he forgot their argument and simply enjoyed it. Weren’t breasts supposed to represent the comfort of the mother after all? Not his mother of course. His mother didn’t have a body, only a brain, an intellect, a mind that had dominated all things by its strengths and then by its weaknesses. Mother not as a source of comfort but of anxiety.
He realized that he was saying most of this out loud and that his hands were firmly grasping Garcia’s breasts. He let go, he backed away.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“You don’t know what you’re doing, you’re all messed up. Tell me what you’re taking.” Garcia pleaded. She was near panic but controlling herself. “I need to know.”
Reid sunk to the floor, vaguely aware that his worst case scenario was coming true, that someone from work had discovered his secret.
“Drugs,” he finally said. “Narcotics, painkillers, sedatives. A is for Ambien, B is for Barbiturates, C is for Chloral Hydrate, D is for Dilaudid…. There are a whole bunch of other letters too, I just can’t remember them all even though I’m supposed to be so smart. S is for Seconal, T is for Triazolam, V is for Valium.” He remembered the additional pills he’d taken that morning. “V is definitely for Valium. Would you mind leaving now? I’d like to pass out.”
“No.” Garcia said. “There is no way I’m leaving you like this. I’m calling an ambulance. How is your central nervous system even functioning?” He must have nodded off, the next thing he realized she was on the floor beside him, shaking him awake.
“Don’t call anyone,” he said. “I’m okay. I’ll be okay.”
“You’re not okay. How long have you been doing this?”
“A while…”
“Since the Tobias Hankel case?”
“How did you know?”
“Something’s been off since then. We’ve all been worried about you. You haven’t been yourself, we want you back.”
“I am myself when I take the drugs. I’m who I should be. Nothing bothers me.”
“You’re killing yourself…”
“I’m staying alive. You don’t know what it’s like. When I don’t take the drugs everything hurts.”
“Because of what Hankel did to you?”
“Because of my mother. Because of my father. Because of who I am. It’s always hurt; I just never knew how to make the pain go away until Tobias showed me. “
She reached out, stroked his hair gently.
“You need help, Reid. Let me get you help.”
“Please, not yet. Promise you won’t tell anyone.”
She hugged him tight and started to cry.
“They’re going to know, baby,” she sobbed. “They’re going to know.”