hello past....good bye future....i cant deal with nor fathom this dichotomy shit and how this figures into a future and yet i dont see one without...it makes me think the only way to deal with a future is to believe there isnt one and that the there is only two options and that is to stop exsisting now...or to exsist as if there is no future... ( Read more... )

I thought I was doing ok today. I feel a wreck now. Shakey, impatient. Somewhere between leeking, throwing up, and bouncing between feeling hungry and wanting to through up. I can feel pieces of me falling at my sides. Its like a nightmare I could have never concieve. For the first time its not a matter of knowing what to do and not having the ( Read more... )

As I walked this lonely street, I thought of days having never gone past. Days not meant to be. I thought of youth and innocence. Curiosity and adventure. I passed houses of all types and farms. Lakes, ponds and streams. In the falling, failing light under the trees I walked. Picturing us walking this street with the energy of years past, wide eyed ( Read more... )

i only seem to come here when i am at the bottom..aka drunk and depressed. I am one of those happily drunk and fantastic or horridly depressingly drunk...like a stumbling eyeore. and that is when i make here... today i am tired one step forward two steps back...or maybe even two steps forward one step back....and that one step brings me to here... ( Read more... )

I miss companionship
I miss compassion
I miss passion
I miss touch
smell
taste
sense
I feel so autonomous
alone
singular
purposeless,

i watched Up the other day.... it made me sad...and it was fantastic

I hate it when I feel this way... mostly because I can't sleep and I don't why.

epically failing on my own two feet!

I only look familiar staring back at myself from the bottom of a bottle.

I would like to say come back to me, I would like to scream come back to me, I would like to make the sales pitch come back to me, but my dear Reality you were never really with me.