the coolest thing just happened to me. i sneezed and blood spewed from my nose all over my face and hands. it was in tiny droplets and thin lines, thinner than red fishing line. for a moment i thought i was about to start hemorraging and suffer a horrible, abrupt death.

that did not happen.

i was forced to deal with the mess. i am clean.

thou art nothing but a wilting flower ( Read more... )

being home is boring like fuck.

whelp.

i am not here. this is not happening ( Read more... )

courtney roared triumphantly upon the realization that if he stuck his finger far enough up his anus, he would lactate.

congradulations courtney. we are proud...

if i had a private part in my elbow-

i would make jokes all of the time.

this is a beast of proportions unknown, fool ( Read more... )

i am going to bake a cake. i am going to bake it good.

i am going to bake it soon.

you will see.

it is an interesting consept.

where am i? what am i doing?

... i am playing with myself.

i am in a chair.