I was talking about having to be creative about veggie dip for my crudité because the one that came with it expired, and one of the people who is friends with me on FB explained that I should use hummus. The next thing I said in the conversation was that I didn't like the stuff and the garlic was too much. It took him 3 comments to drop the subject ( Read more... )

This is probably not going to be in chronological order. I doubt there will be any order at all, whatsoever. But my brain is also in that place, so I figured I would give it a shot.

The most traumatic things that happened this week are that we flew with cats (expected), when we opened the door to accept a cupcake delivery (Ed's work wanted to ( Read more... )

It is *so* hard. All I am trying to do is live a quiet life, take my medications, and take care of my cats. Cats who both had surgery this week. Cats that shouldn't be racing around, but their breed combination has made it so they will. Even if I have spent days trying to keep them from rabbit-kicking each other's bellies. I am seeing the stitches ( Read more... )

My new shrink told me that I had been having extra panic attacks because my body was craving the anxiolytics. So I decreased the dosage. I now take 2 pills when I had previously had up to 4 a day. Obviously, that's been hard some days, but others I kinda just lay around the house and don't even raise my heart rate that much.

FEAR group taught me a ( Read more... )

Ed got me a massage yesterday, or was it the day before? I can't tell. Days bleed together and I am too tired to figure it out.

Anyhow, he tells me that I got a massage on the day after I had a seizure last time, but I don't remember. I don't remember anything about that day. I can't even begin to fathom or understand how much that scares me. At ( Read more... )

I didn't take my epilepsy medication, which would have been fine, I guess, if not for the fact that I hadn't had enough earlier this week.

I had two seizures last night, one of which where I fell on the concrete floor, and it is entirely my problem. My lower half is entirely locked up, and it's my own damned fault. Ed's trying to help me while the ( Read more... )

I know it's a simple thing. I can't find my daily inhaler. I'm taking my rescue inhaler, but it's something that I just can't handle. It's part of my morning routine. Take inhaler with spacer, have fruit breakfast, take psych meds, have peanut butter toast and milk, go on with my day. Watch Rachel Maddow because she has a short and informed version ( Read more... )

Earlier than I normally like to get up tomorrow, I'm going to the hospital for a test that will measure my brainwaves. We know there's something wrong with them, so it's just a matter of finding out *what*. And what kind of consequences there are for having something.

Plus side, I get my car back today! I have really missed my little Rogue. Was ( Read more... )

That's what my doctor called it. He called it decompensating. That's the word for what will happen to me if I go hiking alone. My anxiety/agoraphobia mix and make it so that I absolutely cannot cope. I will flee/freeze, some combination of the two, but it will be hard (possibly impossible) for me to come back from it.

This destroys my hope of ever ( Read more... )

First I lost my cats. Yes, I know. Kidney disease is eventually fatal in animals, and they both had it. They were also both 16, and that's pretty old for a cat. Anyhow, they passed and I was grieving and then there was this wow, vacation, and I couldn't think about it for a while.

So today, I go to the cat cafe. (Yes, I know that it's weird to have ( Read more... )