How does one become like this? How did I turn to self injury and depression? How did I become so different (not that I'm complaining) but I just don't understand. I see the girls around me and they look so monotone, like copies of a factory model churned out in millions. I have become an image, something seen but never heard, with phantom friends ( Read more... )

I'm so tired of living ( Read more... )

The feeling that comes right before death is so sharp and ripe. It takes over your body and you know it's coming. It aches in your bones and roars through your veins. It begins to consume you. Once the feeling has begun to take over, you have no choice, no chance, no hope. It's only a matter of seconds before the end ( Read more... )

Your eyes dig into my skin and I feel the burn of curiosity ( Read more... )

Why can't I just do something easy like bite my nails when I'm not okay? Wait...maybe they would find that as self destructive behavior also. "Now no biting those beautiful nails! You're stronger than that! And you don't want anymore packets do you?" They always fixed everything with the two P's. A packet and a pill. Maybe that's what I need ( Read more... )

I look to your place in the bed and see nothing but a messy silhouette of sheets where you belong ( Read more... )

I haven't updated my journal in so long. This is basically for Phoebe because she told me "update your fucking journal!" quite a few times. But anywho...a lot has happened. I had a job for about 3 weeks. I made about a thousand dollars and then got laid off. Fuckers. I'll kill them. I went to Washington. I got alcohol poisoning I think. I ( Read more... )

It rained for the first time yesterday in about a month. I've missed the rain so much. I almost feel as if I have a relationship with it. I looked out the window and saw the grey clouds and noticed the street was wet. I emediatly ran for the front door. As soon as I opened it, my heart started pounding as though I was seeing an old friend for ( Read more... )

God I'm so pissed off. My dad and step mom don't want me to go see my mom and friends. That's exactly what I need right now is to get away from this place and just see my friends. I miss Chelsea. They say that there isn't enough planning time...right. They're the most last minute people I know. So that's total bullshit. And they say that ( Read more... )

It's Saturday...nothing new. Just another boring Saturday. During the week I wish for the weekend so I can sleep all day and pretend the world doesn't exist. But as soon as the weekend comes, I wish that Monday would just appear so I didn't have to sit alone having all the time in the world to think about how hard and unmanageable life is. I ( Read more... )