What a day of mixed feelings ( Read more... )

Absolutely frustrated with life.

Sometimes I wish I could just start over.

Some of those who I think are truthful and want the best for me, are only caring about themselves.  I've been trying to give the benefit of the doubt to some, but it was proven once again tonight that I don't really matter, I'm just a filler.  A person who is there to be used ( Read more... )

All I have wanted for the last few weeks was to come home, to be away from school, and now I just want to not be home either. I don't feel wanted in Point, and I don't feel it here either. I am in the way no matter where I go. Its sorta like I don't know where home is. My friends are fading. Those who I have trusted and loved I am loosing. Those ( Read more... )

So I may be spending thanksgiving here in point, alone. Not that it is all that big of a deal, it is just a little depressing. No one in my family can come get me until Friday, because they have to go see my grandma. My mom called and said she is really sick again, like in the hospital, but I am sure she will be fine. Ashley is probably leaving ( Read more... )

Just finished my orchestra concert, "Carmina Burana". It was amazing. I can't describe it any other way. I got chills like 50x. Sure, there were some mistakes, but nothin much! I love watching the audience faces, its great. One more time tomorrow night, and I will actually have people in the audience for me! Super excited. I love that my family ( Read more... )

This weekend has really been uneventful. I can’t say it wasn’t fun, because it was nice to just do whatever I want, and I got a ton done which is always good. Caught up on some sleep as well. Friday night I hung with Ashley, we didn’t do much really at all. Saturday I did some odds and ends and then I hung out with Ashley again. We were supposed to ( Read more... )

Since one person actually asked me to update, I guess I will, haha. Plus I want to talk to someone, so I’ll talk to the computer, haha ( Read more... )

I'm fucked. I completely lost my entire composition project. I don't understand how this happened. I saved it under my student name in the CMC. Yeah, I'm screwed. Just another stupid thing that I have done to add to the list. Oh yeah, I forgot to go to my psych experiment today so now I have to write a paper. Yay. The plus sides to this? Well, I " ( Read more... )

I jinked myself with my last post. I was called a "fat ass" by guys in a passing car on my walk today. Great. I know that its true which is bad, and I know people think it too. I really just hate myself right now. I hate that I am letting this get to me so much. I wish it didn't. I think it does cause I know its true. And I know others judge me too ( Read more... )

I haven't updated in forever. Who know what all has gone on, but here goes ( Read more... )