When you think about the past and the memories and events that happened and how amazing some of them were, they usually weren't half as amazing as you remember them being. But it just feels like i'm living one of those amazing memories everyday, so I can't imagine how beautiful this memory will be when I look back on it in a few years. It doesn't ( Read more... )

JT ~You've given reason to waking up every morning, and peace to every night~ SC ( Read more... )

{School/Work - The sinking ships of my shining fleet ( Read more... )

My head is killing me. These pills make me feel too groggy to want to do anything, i'm begining to wonder if i'm better off without them. I guess they make me happier, unless thats just the girl, but even before she showed up I noticed that something about me had changed. I do more things than I used to, a little more impulsive i guess, i'm not so ( Read more... )

Its all so different. And its hard to come back to the same place to talk about it. I guess I could start a new journal and retire Blandestsounds after a few strong years but I guess things never really change so much that it would make a difference. All I need to do now is leave this job. It happens every so often. I shake off the things I have ( Read more... )

You finally find those things that are real. Those things don't mean as much as they should.

The last couple weeks have been a testament to my patience. Things are getting better, I don't have this lame nausea every morning. My mind seems intact as far as I can tell, although I catch it drifting away many times in a single day. I stay awake until I can't hold my eyes open any longer, just to spend time with this girl. Which often ends up ( Read more... )

Its funny how all I can talk about is how happy I should be. How what I have is worth smiling every minute of the day. Have any of you seen me do that? Its these pills or this guilt or my crumbling self image in her eyes. She looks at me happily and it scares me to death. Before she came along I was the most important thing in my life, so selfish, ( Read more... )

I've asked the advice of everyone around me, just how am I going to get through all that has happened? Will everyone eventually know the truth? Will what I'm hiding last long enough for it to be worth it ( Read more... )

I am quite possibly the worst friend ever.

I wake up sick every morning from all these pills, even though I did what they said and ate something when I took them. This morning however, I contribute the sickness in my stomach to guilt. She's amazing and worth the temporary sickness. I just hope he forgives me, and that I can forgive myself.