I've been living with my grandmother for the past month. Much more gas... but much less anxiety, though I am essentially drawing myself a little bubble of health, ignorant of my mother's. :/. There's only so much one can try to help another before one questions their righteousness in proportion to the other's resistance ( Read more... )

Back to hell, USA. (Exaggerating, really.) Just being aware of my mom's presence just gives makes me anxious. Really, I can feel physical reactions. My stomach is tight, body is still... Two cheers for accessible mental health facilities. Two cheers for familial responsibility. I'm just completely in love with how fair this is. I can't just ( Read more... )

Thanking someone has to be the rudest or dumbest thing imaginable. It's quite insulting. If someone thanks you, it's like they're trading sentiment for work. Sentiment is endless and caustic. And to think that you'd be so dumb to not realize this phenomenon. To not realize the effects of universal good, and it being the ultimate goal. The ( Read more... )

I feel like I keep floating through life experiences. And I keep living again, and again. In a sort of sine/cosine curve fashion. I moaned to Jem on facebook. I guess just bitching that I only go to eat, or other things with her. I guess it's not really her fault... (sort of), she's individualistic to start, and has restrictive parents. Plus ( Read more... )

This town is a fat, ambivalent dust circle, filled with Wal-Marts and Applebees. I have a feeling it’s not an unbiased summation of reality. I went to Dunkin with Kindo. It was dull. But I am feeling so dull, so I couldn’t expect much. Today was “blah,” to be melodramatic. I won’t censor my teenage-signature apathetic feelings. Well, maybe I ( Read more... )

I'm very happy right now. 10 days left, bitches. Until that, I'll be hiding behind my musical stand in music theory, and fidgeting around for the rest of the time in government and art. fuck. I have this dream of nothingness. Totally purifying experience. But humans can never be pure, because to go on, humans need food. Which leads me to ( Read more... )

Today is the magical day! I'm 18 *finger dance.* Sort of. The day was almost atrocious, but at best it was mercurial. Woke up (duh) went to school and got my phone taken away. My dad was calling during one of Swenson's lectures, to which few were paying attention. So it rang and I was sent to ISS. They definitely treated me like a prisoner, ( Read more... )

( Contortion )

I miss my "bitches."

Mrs. Long's advice of the day:

use "superannuate" or "antediluvian" instead of "old" to strengthen your argument.
Harharhars.