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The secret is, I'm always angry.
I have titled this entry with a quote from Avengers. The quote was from Bruce Banner (The Hulk) who I now believe is based on a manic depressive. I came to this conclusion months before this movie came out. I expressed this theory to my friends and wife and then looked at my wife in the the theater once the line was spoken. I am angry today because ( Read more... ) -
Current mental and emotional state
This past weekend, I experienced what it was like to feel in complete balance. I did not express rage or even much negativity. I have been calm and patient. At the same time, I find myself experiencing echos of what it was like before when I would actually experience the rage and negativity. I am so used to being negative, that it is almost a new ( Read more... ) -
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fuckem! -
I am very stressed out
Saturday night Mitch and Jaime came up and we went out to dinner with them and Faith and Lance. After dinner and due to the weather, Faith and Lance left to go home while Jaime and Mitch came back to the house to hang with us for a bit. Mitch seemed to be wanting an argument so I conceded and gave him one. It got personal when he brought up Dawn ( Read more... ) -
This past week and my frustrating computer build.
It started out with last Friday when my main media computer restarted and would no longer boot. I spend the next half hour tracing the problem to the 6 month old Gigabyte AM3+ motherboard. It would not post. I then calmly informed Ellen that I had to spend the rest of the evening reconfiguring the remaining 2 Desktops so that all 16 GB of Media ( Read more... ) -
Getting past my issues/Random stuff
So I am finally starting to be able to cope with what my father and those church people did to me. They really did not know any better. They probably still don't. Most Christians are not very logical thinkers. If they were, they wouldn't be Christians. People like Jason are few and far between; actual logical thinking and non judgmental Christians ( Read more... ) -
My recent revelation.
I feel like I am finally starting to move past this. I realize that any anger I have toward the people of that church or toward my father for forcing that insane cult like religion on me and my resulting temporary insanity are all part of my past. It is just good to know that at the moment, I feel calm and clear headed. I do wish that I had this ( Read more... ) -
The insanity of my past and what caused it.
I was recently thinking about my life and how it went very off course at a certain point. I realize now why this happened. I always had problems in school and I never quite fit in, but I was getting better with all of that before I moved in with my father. He decided to force me to be involved with his church group and their fanatical, judgmental ( Read more... ) -
party for tonight cancelled due to hurricane
the title pretty much sais it all. Don't drive tonight. stay home. -
Grades are finally up!
Class Grade/GPA ( Read more... )