So I know LJ is now a ghost town, and no one will ever see this, but for anyone who does end up running across this LJ, I want to apologize in advance for my young immaturity. I've grown a lot between then and now and views on many things have changed.

So.. I have gotten many reminders why I hate being here. Everything from an atmosphere conducive to being extremely angry and depressed. To a spiritually poor atmmosphere. I should have stayed in Cedarville. I need to get back there, and soon.. And my mom hasn't gotten it through her head yet that I am not staying here the entire summer.. it ( Read more... )

I'm learning more about Jesus. He is growing me in some pretty awesome ways. It's so funny, the farther we push away, sometimes, the more we see Him there saying, in almost a faint whisper "I love you. I chose you. I want to comfort you. Come back to me, My child. I will shelter you and love on you. Trust Me".

so.. im trying to be patient.. and trust you.. I'm not doing so well tonight.. because I'm just thinking periodically "one sunday, I will call.. and you won't call back".. please don't make that one tonight..

So.. yeah.. it's been 4 hours almost 5 since ive called.. maybe we ought to set a time so i can feel better..
Because right now.. I'm highly doubting you.
I'm giving you a few hours still.. I'm just not sure it'll happen.. as a matter of fact, I'm fairly unsure it will happen.

Still trying to trust.. it's up to 5 people now..

It's difficult..

Sometimes I'm not sure of it..

But I still am trying.

So... I trusted people again. Yay for me. Only the 50 millionth time in my life. And again, guess what else happened? Yup, I'm being made to be a loser. Yeah, like either of you would call back.. i should have known better.. oh well.. maybe next week ill have more luck..

I'm happy. I leave in a week. This is a bad thing, yet a very good thing. It'll make certain people happy. Maybe it is possible (in reference to my last entry)

ok... so amanda, isn't a very huggy, or affectionate person. and this past week, after i had my little oops with the excedrine, it seemed to change a bit. like once, we were waiting for the bus to go bowling, and she let me lay on her at first, and she had her hand on my arm, then she turned sideways and let me lay my head on her lap, which was odd ( Read more... )

Well.. so I'm stupid.. well, not really. see, i was holding back feelings from people, and i talked to amanda about it today. She's good to talk to.. She knows when to talk and when to just listen. And she again reiterated how it's so unhealthy to hold things in. God has truely blessed me with her.