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haha.
ha!
im a murderer.
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it's so different this year. i don't have the support and love from the same people. two years is coming up. how do i deal with this? i was trying not to think too negatively about the whole thing, but itd hard. why is september full of bad memories? and why does it insist on bringing more? she was old, but she wasn't old enough to go. she took ( Read more... ) -
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so its starting to really sink in that he's not on vacation and he's actually at school for good. its also starting to sink in that my boyfriend and i will never really talk ever again, and he was my best friend besides brian, and that really hurts. break ups really fucking suck hardcore. i don't know who to turn to sometimes, because they were ( Read more... ) -
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everything is about to change and i'm not ready by any means. he's been there for me for 4 solid years, no fights, no drama. i've never had that before from someone. not for four consistent steady years. despite the fact that we havent hung out every single day together for those years, we could always pick up and leave off with no awkwardness, ( Read more... ) -
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moving to california within 2 months. ive been psyched, but after tonight, i'm suddenly getting nervous. frightened of a brand new place; stepping out of my comfort zone. i know i need this change in my life, to restart my life fresh even, but major change intmidates the hell out of me. all of these emotions and worries flooded my brain before, and ( Read more... ) -
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i'm getting so frustrated lately, and im snapping at the ones that are trying to be there for me. i'm sorry. i dont get anymore texts or calls. it sucks cause its the beginning of the summer and i feel really distant from most of the people im usually closest to. i know in the past few weeks i have said some pretty shitty things, but i just dont ( Read more... ) -
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on wednesday i got into an accident and the only reason im alive is because you were watching over me. a few minutes ago i realized something that gave me the chills.
i crashed on the 19th.
thats when you died.
