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Does it make sense to feel bad for NOT wanting people to do stuff for you? I don't think there's anything wrong with not liking for people to go out of their way. I spent most of my childhood being told I was spoiled and having things that were done for me thrown back in my face. Now as an adult I prefer people not do things for me. Maybe it's dumb
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its not dumb for you to feel that way. you've obviously realized the source of such reactions, and so i wouldn't say its odd for you to have come to think of favors as really being something else in disguise.
however! i think that because you are intelligent enough to understand where such feelings stem from, you have no excuse to stop you from at least attempting to learn to accept favors for what they really are. you were taught one way of thinking, so now it is up to you to fix that. perhaps this won't be easy with everyone, but people you trust & love, such as rogue, etc, should perhaps be the first ones allowed to do you such types of things. :) especially if you are upsetting people, as this entry seems to imply.
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Even when I know it's not going to be used against me later, I just feel bad when someone does a favor for me. Whether it's meant to be paid back or not, I feel like nothing I do will repay or be enough. One good deed deserves another... I feel honor bound to do something for the person even if they weren't keeping a tab. Yet I don't expect or want people to feel obligated to pay me back when I do for them.
I have a strong sense of giri. As with a lot of japanese terms, this is hard to translate into english. The most basic translation is ( ... )
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