everytime i go running i just want a cigarette

everytime i go to the gym i get hungry and eat twice as much

then i came home and googled traumatic masturbation

My roommate was fired or "lost her job" as a shoe buyer and is currently unemployed. She just sits around the house with all of her friends over and doesn't seem to care about her working roommates ( Read more... )

I hope in a few months people can start talking about how the price of gas is going to be 20 dollars like last year.

The press doing financial reporting is like if i wrote a novel without spell check.

If we had a 25 hour day, i'd actually get enough sleep and have enough time to do my work and run my errands. Sure it sounds like i need 1 hour for all the excuses and it is really there for apathy but even if you're a proactive go getter you probably could use an extra hour to look in the mirror to check to see if you're a total douche bag ( Read more... )

On the streets of New York there're people trying to raise money for charity who stop you and say something like "Would you like to sponsor a child?" or "Do you want to help children ( Read more... )

It's a natural progression to go from spending too much time on facebook to trolling the internet for undateable women on nerve ( Read more... )

Give a fund of 110% of your salary in toxic funds and assets ( Read more... )

I don't think Obama's off to a particularly good start in this whole "Change" thing. I know he needs to get out of the woods and received a big boost in october due to a crumbling economy ( Read more... )

The Tuxedo Shirt - This ingenous item is a tuxedo print on a black t-shirt. It's the piano neck tie of the i'm here to party world.

Blazer & Jeans - Formal from the waist up, party from the waist down.

Shoot brb.

I don't know what's so great about great britain, or should i say england. However since i just watched narnia next to my scottish roommate i consider myself an expert ( Read more... )