i told you all you were driving me crazy you see my mood swings the way i shift now days and the anger i hold within, the pain that is dawned on my face all that is becuase i have been trying so very much to be there for you and be the best friend of course i'm not there always but i'm going through things too. so many emotions hitting me at once, ( Read more... )

Today I realized something, I don't like games. No I'm not talking about board games or Tekken 3. To many people wanna play mind games to make you jealous and you can't get a straight answer to find out where you stand. (LOL) Sounds so funny to find me using that word, straight, but that is off topic anyway. How many times can you tell a person ( Read more... )

I found out betrayal the hard way. You ever been turned down by someone you thought you were so close to. Someone who seemed to play their mask so well that even though you knew what it was you fooled yourself into believing that you saw them for who they wanted you to see them as. Betrayal is a harsh reality. To realize you did everything stayed ( Read more... )

If I gave you the chance to not let me exist, wouldn't you think this would be more to your benefit. If I would just slink away to the shadows, fade and cease existing in your life would it not better that way. Then you could easily forget I ever existed, that I was ever a part of your world. Go on with your life as if nothing happened, as you ( Read more... )

I Love... that's it I just do. No one specific though I long to hold someone in my arms and have them close. Lay with them in my bed(he he those of you who know me understand this comment now more than ever) but as much as I long for this I realize now is not the time to find someone. I wanna be more established with a room of my own. I don't want ( Read more... )

for T:

Short entry just to clarify something. I'm not looking for anyone any more. Any references to love anyone trying to help me patch and mend a broken heart, don't worry. I've already taken care of it. My heart is temporarily fortified but like any suit of armor it has its weak spots and I feel a little pang and poke of pain every now and then ( Read more... )

I woke up today somewhat irritated and upset. Maybe it was due to being kicked so many times to wake up (not accusing so please don't apologize) or maybe it was the way in which Mr. Kimball tried to make me feel guilty over it. On the other hand I could have just had a horrible dream I shut out upon my waking. I don't know what it is but whatever ( Read more... )

I woke up today sligthly irritated and upset. Maybe it was due to being kicked so many times to wake up (not accusing so please don't apologize) or maybe it was the way in which Mr. Kimball tried to make me feel guilty over it. On the other hand I could have just had a horrible dream I shut out upon my waking. I don't know what it is but whatever ( Read more... )

So I haven't written in this since my last angry outburst. Now I start a new year with a new focus and less friends to hang on. (I'll miss you Jason,the marraige between you and Syi was both beautiful and funny.)Now I set to focus on other things. No real plans to make any new friends but somehow people can't help but catch my eye or I can't help ( Read more... )

She looks around and thinks so this is what life is. Always hiding never living free, never being who you are because your afraid of everyone else. She looks and realizes even more those who care nothing of this and lives as they want are seen as fornicators and sinners in the world. She shakes her head at the sad truth as she walks through her ( Read more... )