death feels like it is creepin in.

i know i dont need to explain myself and who i am but bare with me because im still trying to figure that one out myself. nineteen and lost. i find myself putting so much effort into making others happy. im always one button off. but i dont realize until i get to the bottom of the shirt. then i have to unbutton and start the process over. i have ( Read more... )

as dave says, "ignorance is bliss."

it hurts to know that a week ago he was upset that im leaving. then things seem cool. now he pulls the same shit. we arent talking. im moving 500 miles away and no one seems to care. that either says alot about my friends or the person i have become. either way it sucks. i feel very lonely right now. i just want to curl up in a ball in my bed fall ( Read more... )

i always have 576789548630 thoughts going on in my head. and when it comes time to writing them down i either get lazy or second guess the way i was feeling. this whole ron thing is getting to me once again. i dont know why i still do this shit. tonight flo asked me do you still love him or do you just love the feeling of being in love. and i was ( Read more... )

so yeah saturday night i met up with ron. once again we arent talking. lol

about the whole ronnie thing. i dont know. its a mess. but i talked to his sister today and he made up some bullshit lies again. its like i go sit in er with him and help him out and thats the thanks i get. oh well hes not worth worrying about. i have been in love and i have had my heart broken as i have always said. and im sure there is more of ( Read more... )

so here i am again. in the same place i was 2 months ago and a few months before that and before that. we are just going in a circle. but i have to take back what i said about him before. he is not a bad person. and when he is with me he is the same person i fell inlove with over 3 years ago. he told me he was happy but he hesitated when he told me ( Read more... )

im over life.

waking up in the middle of the night to the dream i just had is one of the worse feelings. i know i can not try contacting him so i pulled out the letters. and they read ( Read more... )