If there was a god he is not helping me. I just need for him to be ok. I cant do this. I am the only person holding him up. I cant do it> I used to scream and cry saying i want my mommy...now i start doing that and nothing comes out after want, there is no one who can help me..no ones shoulder i can cry on. I want.....i want someone. PLease help ( Read more... )

It has been a while. Ha I always say that. But hey its true. I dont know what to write. I just feel lost. I dont know. I know everything I want in life and all that i want to accomplish. Things hold me back. Pety little thoughts telling me i wont make it cuz im not pretty and im fat...yeah those thoughts are always creeping. Does it happen to other ( Read more... )

Yeah whats up?? Things have been a little weird lately. Last week on mine and my boyfriends 3 month anniversary he did something very horrible. So that has been making things between us a little weird lately. Yeah I think we are ok now finally and he claims everything will be better then ever soon and I am trusting him. Yeah I have been like busy ( Read more... )

Hey there it has been a while. I hae been busy. Lately I have just wanted to be alone. Well being alone is worse but when I am alone atleast no one is constantly asking me whats wrong. I dont know whats wrong and I am tired of everyone asking and asking when i dont know. But anyways. Yeah. I keep like getting sad out of no where when i am having a ( Read more... )

Well it has been a while i suppose. I have been really busy. Well. My mom moved to Washington finally. Last or a few fridays ago I went to a SWT concert. It makes me sad to not have my mom live in Newport anymore. WOw as I am writing this the reality of like no more Newport is hitting. All those summers all those breaks...all gone. Woa. Well ( Read more... )

Ok whoever told my boyfriend to ask me if "dave went goes down smooth" needs to fuck off. Someone is messing with him! Gay! Anyways I went to the hockey game with Chelsea on friday it was Schweet. Silvertips won 5 to 1 against the Thunderbirds! Yesterday was cool. Chelseas party sweeeeet. yes

Aloha!! I havent written in a few days so I thought I better update. Yessh. I am a track manager now because my knees are so bad so I cant actualy participate in it. David is nice so he is a manager with me. We manage them so damn well!! Anyways. I have been really sick so not much has been going on. I am supposed to go clothes shopping but thats a ( Read more... )

Ok here goes. I have these weird feelings. I love someone. It scares me a lot. I think it is because of Orin. That hurt me. People say I need to forget about him, I am, but what he did will still remain for the future. I am scared that the person I love will all of a sudden change their mind. This would be so devastating for me. It would be more ( Read more... )

This feels so much like summer it is unbelievible. I love it. I went to school with my friend Shannon yesterday that was so fun. I got to hang out with everyone. Orin was in one of the classes. grr. But its ok because later that day me and Jack had a talk about the whole situation and I think that I am good. Last night I spent the night at Davids ( Read more... )

So I am in Oregon. It is so great. I can just go sit out on the ocean, isnt that freakin crazy?? Ya I have been walking so much because my bike is already gone in Washington. So in conclusion my butt hurts really bad like woah. I havent gotten a call from David yet, I really miss him. I dont know about the shows because my mom is like trying to get ( Read more... )