Every good thing, carries an equal if not greater bad thing ( Read more... )

why do i think my past likes to come back and haunt me? Is it really that difficult to start over? and just how fucking small is this world!!!!!!! I hope this isn't as bad as I think it is.

So here i am updating....this is my once in a blue moon post. I dont know why im updating or even writing in this thing anymore. It just seems that the moment i write something in here a lot more stuff happen and then i dont feel like remember all of that so i just dont write it. Well anywayz I've been really busy. English homework like you couldn ( Read more... )

I spent an hour tonight talking with my coach about how to become a better fencer. I know the drills and i have the precision its just the mental aspect of fencing. To become better I have to change part of who I am. I have to fence, not caring about the winning, only about getting better. I have to ignore what people say and back down from ( Read more... )

So heres the problem in my life right about now....(yes there is another one. funny how they seem to show up just as one goes away)I have this semi-international tournament for fencing at the end of next week that im going to, i actually wont be in school friday because of it, YaY for me I guess, and its just freaking the hell out of me. I dont ( Read more... )

Not much happening today. Got paid $15 an hour to watch the Iowa Game, and the Rose Bowl parade. That was an awesome game. (I dont normally say this but) Go Hawkeyes. So congrats to all my black and gold feathery friends out there. In other interesting news, I had a whole hour conversation with Melissa today and guess what....she was nice and ( Read more... )

Today was my last free day during break....how sad to see the last day of freedom gone by. Oddly enough today was a very different day. All the activities or things I did today, I have never done before ever! It was great. Yuppy yupp yup. So day started out....lets see cat woke me up, after staying up until like 2am talking to Elyse who for ( Read more... )

So break is almost over, and what do I have to show for it? Oh about $500 dollars and no real life. I've been working a lot lately, both jobs, and am just now getting paid. On the plus side I did get to see Sarah whom I havent seen for a very long time. We went to see Phantom of the Opera together. Got to hang out with Katie too. She came ( Read more... )

Updating to be used sparring.  Look inside of my head for the blue chris-mas season......even in saddness i joke......(look at Chris-mas)

( Instant message...yes  read to feel whats going on in my head )

so fine, here i am, after who knows how long, posting again on this journal. I have figured that I am me and that's all I'll ever be. No more pretending im nice, or caring, doesnt work. I've lost several friends, and finally got some people to leave me the fuck alone. I am saddened by the loss of them but then again, that's life and it is ( Read more... )