In the past few days I've had a repeating dream that I read an email that said something like this:

"Thank you for your interest in Purdue University. We regret to inform you..."

In one of them, I was literally thinking to myself "What am I gonna do next?"

Great.

This shall end, and I will end it. I will remove myself from them and their situation ( Read more... )

That was a dumb move. A bitch move, if you will.

I feel like a jackass now.

Keep on ignoring. I'm used to it.

Doubt has set in once again ( Read more... )

I have yet to hear back from you. It puts me in a far-away, vague melancholic mood. Perhaps I deserve it either way, but sometimes it's nice.

Every day.
Back of mind.

Sometimes people are gluttons for punishment.
Sometimes you'll be thrown under the bus for sadistic reasons.
Sometimes it's actually funny.

Mostly...it's not.

Why reach and strain yourself for such a minuscule prize?

You could be a beautiful person.

Unfortunately you're not worth the effort.

A quick update of things done and things yet to be ( Read more... )

I'm not averse to pop or accessibility, nor am I inclined to believe that I am an authority of all things intellectual and artistic.

But YOU, sir, must realize that being pompous does not equate ability.  You must realize that you have no room to talk.  You must realize that you've worked much of your life to become a big fish in a small pond and ( Read more... )

An all encompassing, maddening and feverish focus on a singular goal is dangerous.

But god damn is it exhilirating.

yet I dread it.

Nights like this.

A year from now I plan on being FAR away from everyone here.  And who will I talk to when I'm drunk and feeling inconsequential?

I'll have nobody around to rub my back and tell me that I'm a dumbfuck.  I'll be completely on my own.  It's a scary feeling, yet it's also curiously appealing.  I'll have to depend on ( Read more... )