I have started to see a psychologist. I'm focused on heAlth and it's a constant work in progress. I was told by Jirina tHat I'm bipolar II. I'm looking into holistic healing and maybe medicine .....? There's something called lithium orotate. I really like this new outlook I have on life. Everything that I have gone through. I really think Randy has ( Read more... )

My smoke is demonic.I always loved you more than Chris. I should have loved Chris more. He was the good one. The boy me. But you got me. All my love magic mind only thinks ..of you in my spare time. You win over my mom. Sometimes I feel you breathe over my shoulder. Like I wish it was only you and me. I Wonder if you're alive. It's like you tell me ( Read more... )

I feel good today unlike the other psychotic days I've had recently. Still probAbly having them it's just another day ( Read more... )

How do I remember and only live by encouraging words and phrases? I am my own boss. How to truly believe this? How to stop being naive ( Read more... )

I dunno. I had a rough day. mentally. Am I late? I feel like someone just informed me of the "growing up" thing. on accident. I've always heard people talk about it and not really feel it. Brush my friends' words aside because it didn't mean anything to me. Now I realize growing up means you feel completely alone...while your friends force the ( Read more... )

Just made an amazing entry. Deleted it. It's 5:32am the last sentence was we are molecules to the earths evolution. Ugh. Groups of my childhood. Everything I just thought of the last two hours is gone. And what's ironic is I asked why I couldn't have enough time to to replay all my memories the last ten years.

Sometimes I just feel like I am carrying the whole world on my shoulders and no one knows it. I am making such a difference by living and breathing out my brain. I know I am. But my results of what I have accomplished are non existent. I feel so much.
There's no room for being apart of the world, making a living, making tons of money, or getting ( Read more... )

I need to fall away from money. Stop using it.
Be more in tune with myself. Stay away from humans. Focus on me.

You gave me all the freedom I wanted.
Rock n roll n love.
I didn't realize you were doing it too.
We were full of beats, x, and suspicion. All of us...
Who gets who? Who gets what?
Something feels good inside when you're rollin with Gs.
A crew yall trust, motto trust no one....

piano...

We don't mix. Things keep switching.
I love you, I hate you.
I love you ( Read more... )

It's weird how many private posts I put on here. Almost like no one is involved which I guess is good.

Lucy thinks I'm funny, in which I think she's funny.
We argue by purring.
She seems to be the happier one.....
That's cool....a little jealous.
She pawing at me..."Stop typing!"
I love when her eyes close and she smiles. I wish I could fix her fake ( Read more... )