something seems wrong ( Read more... )

i'd like to fucking just say
what i fucking mean.

i don't remember ever
this being an issue
before.

she said no one will ever love me the way she does.

what about that seems just a little... off?

i explained to her already

(though a very long time ago)

about how i go back and forth about people.

about every one.

i told her.

no exceptions.

is it still unclear to her

what she's getting herself into?

god please turn down ( Read more... )

i prefer

jack daniel's

over

a good night's sleep

or

any live person

any day of the week.

pick one,

and ask me.

you'll see.

we left when we ran out of things to do ( Read more... )

i can hear the slots machines not so far away, and the music from the pool and dance party a few decks up. the clicking of the keys of the other people trying to contact their loved and missed ones. my empty coco-loco coconut shell is next to me. and i hear several people speaking chinese to one another around ten feet away. there are a lot of ( Read more... )

today, my mother asked me where i got the hickey. i told her tobias gave it to me, as planned. ha, she called him a "wild man," and started asking about when i was letting him suck on my neck, and why, seeing as how my hair is short, etcetera. i told her it didn't feel like it was going to leave a hickey. which it didn't. a little later, i ( Read more... )

ah, the confusion endowed by the love, excuse me, i must mean lust, of the two of us. love too, but not romantic? i love you, and that, entwined with this, sends me deep into a flurry of nonknowing. or mistakenness. because you love me too, and lust for me, apparently, but... that is not enough? i am unclear. or you are. or love is ( Read more... )

she sat on the railroad tie, smoking her cigarette, looking up at the clear night sky, legs shaking. because of the cold, and maybe the circumstances too, but she couldn't be sure. it didn't work like it used to. the cigarette. but then again, neither did anything else. she looked at it a bit, tilting it to see where the camel's legs were, to ( Read more... )