"Till Death do us part"

[blue_hours_too]

It seems absurd that people should marry at 18, 20, 25... even 28, looking at some people that age who basically act like kids. 30 perhaps, it seems about normal to me in today's Western societies {elsewhere it obviously is a different matter}. 32... and we're getting there, an age where I think people are finally old enough for this to work. Am I

Comments

[johnmill79]

I agree with you, it's kinda hard for me to see myself with someone for that long. But at the same time, I don't really like being alone either. I suspect I'll get married shortly after I turn 30, that is if I've found a partner by then. lol I guess if I don't, I'll have to content myself with just having friends and hopefully getting myself into an awesome career. That's the bigger concern for me at the moment anyway.

[blue_hours_too]

Same here on all accounts. I'm dating and work is busy but this whole marriage thing seems different to me than it was even 10 years ago. I'm no longer sure what is "right" for me.

[sindhu_rella]

Hmmm. My opnion might differ from yours, only because I don't place THAT much emphasis on the actual number of someone's age. Someone could be 18 and much more mature than a 28-year-old, for example. Age is just a number, especially once you're in your twenties. Everyone matures/grows up in different ways with different experiences, etc, so it's hard to generalize that all 25-year-olds (for ex) are in the same stage in life all over the world. Especially when it comes to marriage and deciding when is the right time to tie the knot. For one person, they might be ready at 30, for another maybe 25, and yet another maybe even 20! I have seen early marriages work extremely well and late marriages fail, and vice versa. So, ultimately, it just depends??

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's a very person-specific thing... not so much an age-thing. :)

[blue_hours_too]

I agree, maturity varies and much of it is cultural. I'm living in the USA at the moment and what I see around makes me seriously question the whole marry in your 20's thing... (I shall leave it at that before I get flamed for making fun of the locals, hehe.) Seriously though, it's not the same everywhere and I would apply different rules in other cultures where a] it's normal to marry young, and b] EVERYONE is expected to marry, period etc etc. In "the West" among "Western" people it does seem absurd to me to marry young and divorce rates around here kind of support the theory, hehe. I think it's ridiculous that people marry 4 times, too.

[blue_hours_too]

LOL! That idea in the article is nuts and that's the other extreme! At least she has a sense of humor. =) I do think it can work for people if *they* are willing to work on it, know how to compromise, really don't plan on ever being with anybody else even if tempted etc etc. I do *not* think this is likely to happen for many in this day and age though. As you say, times have changed so much, people just get divorced so easily - all the cheating drama is almost normal and so on. And what about bi people - how is this going to work? Open marriage? It's a 1000 things that are just so different now, making it far more complicated than it used to be.

[foudebassan]

I'm 24 and really not mature enough to get into that kind of commitment. On the other hand, my best friend (though unmarried) has two kids already and I'd bet anything that she and her partner will live together until death do them part, but then she was already behaving like a grown-up when we were pre-teens. I think it very positive that in today's western society, there is no pressure to marry the first person you meet / date / sleep with and that we can just go at our own pace.

[blue_hours_too]

Definitely. I know so many people who are barely over 30 and already had 2 or 3 husbands! And a bunch of kids tend to come with that too. It's ridiculous in my eyes. Of course it's to the extreme here in the US - like so many things, heh...

[ppuma]

well, people differ and such. of course the vast majority of people who get married young will divorce, but there are those few that do remain married and they do deserve to get recognition.

I read somewhere that getting married after the age of 24 will reduce the risk of getting a divorce by 60% or something like that, because at that age all of the major "growing up" is over (one assumes) and it is more plausable to begin a future with someone together.

[blue_hours_too]

"I read somewhere that getting married after the age of 24 will reduce the risk of getting a divorce by 60% or something like that"

... and I'm sure that number increases the longer people wait. Unless they wait till they're 50 - that might tip the scales toward "zu festgelegt". =)

[ppuma]

tehe yeah. theres a politician here that wants to pass a law that would make all couples have to get divorced after 7 years, and if they wish to stay married, they would have to get a permit. have you heard about that?

lmfao.

[blue_hours_too]

Yes, a friend linked it above. Crazy, lol.