"Till Death do us part"

[blue_hours_too]

It seems absurd that people should marry at 18, 20, 25... even 28, looking at some people that age who basically act like kids. 30 perhaps, it seems about normal to me in today's Western societies {elsewhere it obviously is a different matter}. 32... and we're getting there, an age where I think people are finally old enough for this to work. Am I

Comments

[yemeron]

Well, I'm 28, and I can't see myself getting married anytime soon. Of course, there are no contenders at the moment, so I guess it's a moot point for me!

[blue_hours_too]

Awwww. Do you *want* to though/doing anything about it?

[yemeron]

I would like to be married and have a family someday, but I know I'm not ready for it now.

[blue_hours_too]

Same here.

[sakirmo]

Over here, around 30 is an average age for first-time marriages (I think 29 for women and 32 for men, something like that) and, no matter how hard I try, I can't think of anyone I know who'd have been younger than 25 when they got married. Except my grandmother sometime in early 40's but that doesn't really count, does it! So, at least here your opinion fits the mainstream reality just fine :)

[blue_hours_too]

Leave it to Europeans to be wise. ;o)

Age at first marriage
Finland: 30.5 for men, 28.3 for women.
Germany: 30.9 for men, 28.2 for women.

Other countries http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_at_first_marriage

Interesting stuff. I never cared much about the mainstream so I'm fine either way. =) Seriously though, I'm really questioning the whole concept at this point. You live with someone, right?

[sakirmo]

Funny thing though, the higher age doesn't mean lower divorce rate. I believe it's over 50% here at the moment, which is absolutely ridiculous. Why bother going through the fuss of getting married if you have no will whatsoever to stick to it?!?

Yup, I live with someone and that's the way I want it to be. I never saw the point of getting married unless it's for sensible legal reasons (when house/mortgage, children etc. are involved) and we don't have any of those, so there's no reason to go and sign any papers just to "prove the world" that we're serious about each other.

[metamorpheus]

This has been on my mind a lot lately as my agemates (and younger!) are marrying off. I seem to be the 'weird' one for not craving married life and kids already.

I think a rare few will grow well together and that an even rarer group actually have been so fortunate as to meet their right match- but most of these marriages won't last- I'm sure. And many people will stifle their own personalities in order to 'make it work' when it was never right to begin with. Plus many people don't have much by way of experiences or aspirations- and so settling down early isn't a threat to their future or their past as it could be for those of us who are more driven.

[blue_hours_too]

"I think a rare few will grow well together and that an even rarer group actually have been so fortunate as to meet their right match- but most of these marriages won't last- I'm sure."

I agree. If both people involved have the right attitude and are willing to work, compromise, and either be faithful or come to some agreement, it's still likely to work. I also am not *against* marriage - I do think it's the ideal in many ways. My parents have been married for 35 years and they have a really good marriage - so they're a shining example, really, of how to do it. But they also are a different generation and today, things are so different to begin with. We're more individualistic by default, I think. Of course it's also a matter of personality.

[cyph0r]

I got married at 25. I see myself with my husband till death do us apart, whether he sees us that way, I hope he does :) I can't forsee the future, if it doesn't work, it would be sad but not the end of the world. Truth is, if I had known better, I would have waited a few more years (but that's more on the aspect of financial freedom that I miss from being single).

Now, as for having children, that's another thing altogether. Lots of people associate being married with having children, we chose to wait for financial and maturity reasons.

[blue_hours_too]

That's a good decision, I think. =) I would do the same if I were married and wanted children. There's no hurry nowadays, women have children at 30, 35, even later than that (not sure if 40 is a good idea but that's another topic, haha). People should be 100% ready for this kind of responsibility so they can actually enjoy the experience

[immoline2]

It is more a maturity thing- Eug is Forty this year - he was nowhere near ready when I met him at 36. His parents have been together and happy for 56 years, theyre inseperable. so it can work- depending on the partners- with us- we started alot later, so I guess it wont be so long, slthough if he follows his parents age, it still gives us a good 40 years together.I'm definately a til death type of girl, especially since this is the second time round for me.

[blue_hours_too]

IF I ever do this, I will aim for till death do us part as well. I've never been one for "relationship hopping", mine usually lasted for years, or were just really brief flings with not a whole lot in between. Lately, I've been dabbling in "dating", this odd American concept I'm not used to. It feels unnatural to me but I have a really hard time meeting anyone here by chance (as it always happened elsewhere) who just remotely matches... Anyway, good luck to you guys with... the news. =)