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Hurt
I don't think she knows how much she hurts me... I know I deserve this punishment. It would be easier if she was moving on... actually making relationships. "Mistakes" though? just twist the knife deeper please... I can't turn off these feelings and I want to do badly, like she can. No matter what she does to me I can't ever forget her, and that's ( Read more... ) -
Anger
Ive got to write this down before my thoughts stray to another subject. I have come to a realization about anger. It is bred from one of three thought processes... or lack there of ( Read more... ) -
Things are looking up
I've had a great last few days. Today was my day off from wingstop. I woke up kind from lack of sleep. Around 2 o clock I got a call from olive garden! I had an interview a couple of weeks for a dishwashing position. I didnt think they would call back but they did. Although it wasnt for the dishwashing position, it was for a servers position! Yay! ( Read more... ) -
The diseases of my mind
"I've seen the strongest people break under the weight of Their own mortality."
I was laying here and that very quote came to my mind. I remembered when I watched one of my strongest heroes crumble under the very weakness that has plagued me for years. He was out of town in another state in a business trip and he felt the pain of true loneliness. ( Read more... ) -
Fitness
I find it funny how many people try and get fit in the beginning of the year. Yet ultimately they were doomed from the beginning. I've noticed an increase in the number of people at the gym I go to. I see new people signing up all the time. I see the fat office workers walking in their brand new "never been worn" sneakers, walking to Taco Bell on ( Read more... ) -
Dream Time
My dreams have been somewhat calm and distant lately. Im thankful for this. I wonder if my teckniques are to thank. I did however have a dream the other night. I dreamt I was working for Daniel (my best friend who owns a subway). I finally got to see it... Although it was kind of a house operation. Like if someone started a subway in their own home ( Read more... ) -
Dream time
Finally Parked in the parking structure, they walk to the crowded building. Everyone waits in anticipation in the long line that winds upstairs. Half way up a boy and his dad and family begin a conversation. The dad remembers his final words leaving the house the night before to his brother as he grabbed his revolver, "never can be too sure.... Aim ( Read more... ) -
No sleep
Awake again. Works starting me closing hours again. Bahhhhh!!!!!
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July 23rd
I cannot sleep.... Hate laying in bed for hours unable to sleep. My routine lately is good. I wake up Monday through Friday and apply for jobs after changing and feeding Liam. Then I hit the gym before it gets to hot. 30 minutes of cardio and 20 for weights. Home and time for lunch. Then Liam alseep and relax time for me. More applications and then ( Read more... ) -
July 21st Sunday
Today Liam went to Disneyland for the first time. First time to any amusement park. He did great. 30 Is starting to become the start of my new life an I love it.