Right now I am drinking squirt and rum listening to nine inch nails and reading “something positive”. My head hurts in a new way and I feel oh so very cold on the inside. The loneliness is getting to me now. At least I can see the cycles now ;otherwise, I might be contemplating something bad. It is weird. I can hear myself saying that this ( Read more... )

Tired… in my soul it hurts to breath. The dreams, the nightmares, the sleepless nights. It is a damn shame considering nights used to be the time I thrived ( Read more... )

Sacrifice ( Read more... )

I am home and I am keeping the ball rolling as much as possible ( Read more... )

the back of my head is screaming right now. i have things to say but i dont know how they will come out. you see i only have a few days left of service until the phone goes out and i lose my 'net till about a week alter and i settle into the big O. i am so sleepy right now. that the world seems less real than it should ( Read more... )

the insomnia has me. all i can think about is the fact i am getting out. its like i am about to jump into the pool from 220 feet up, knowing it will be ice cold. this is going to be such a change. i am so scared ( Read more... )

rum... and what i miss
she makes me pine for what others call piss
looking 'tween the cracks
and knowing the life i lack
such is fuckin' life
such is fuckin' life
and this i live and die
and fuck you for asking why

been bust and yet... nothing has really changed. still waiting still working. still missing someone and still letting my demons rage ( Read more... )

no words of wisdom no words of enlightenment or joy but only words of happiness. i did damn good. i had a chick tell me i am the best she ever had. i think i get a gold star for that. which is cool not only because it says something for learning by watching (thanks porno) but for actually working with what i have and doing the best i can ( Read more... )

been up since 430 ( Read more... )