So a couple days ago, I wrote an entry. When I went to post it, LJ had an error and deleted the entire thing.  Oh well. It was a super negative post but I got out all that I needed to out. After all, thats what writing in here is for. Right?

Here is whats going on with the girls lately.

Harlee:

She turns 2 in a month and a half. Where has the time ( Read more... )

 The girls are napping. Figured I would go ahead and update.

William was down for 3 days. Tuesday came way too soon. We went on a FANTASTIC date and just enjoyed the time together. I absolutely love being with him. Makes me feel even more certain that California is where I need to be. I cannot wait :). Then there is the doubt side of me that worries ( Read more... )

What a way to seem uninterested in something I was excited about. Whatever. Ughhhhhh today sucks. I am so down on myself. Bought a "date" dress. Didn't fit or look good on me. Probably because I am too fat. I need to lose weight. Going to seriously cut out the sodas. No lie. I'm sick of feeling unattractive. William comes down this weekend and I ( Read more... )

 I haven't written in a while. Partly because I have been so busy and partly because I haven't had much to say. I still really don't. Well....  finally moved into a bigger place. I love it. The girls didn't have any problem adjusting at all which was a huge plus. I just wish I had more time in the day to unpack everything.  Two babies keep me super ( Read more... )

  It's not that I like this holiday, because I don't.  It's just that I was hoping for something.... A little romanticism over the distance. Like flowers.. a card.... I don't know. I'm probably being stupid about it. It just hits in waves sometimes that I really am alone. Not relationship wise but here. I would have liked to have a little normalcy ( Read more... )

 I realize I am a poor communicator. I feel more comfortable writing than vocally conveying emotions. I am shy when it comes to certain topics such as feelings, bodily functions, what I want, and sexual problems. I can express everything that has frustrated me when I can no longer stand to keep it to myself. I suck at holding a phone conversation. ( Read more... )

You can blame me all you want but I am not the reason you are a shitty father. You never ask me about her. You never show any interest in her life. You go out of your way to make status updates, how hard would it be to at least message me to see how shes doing? To call? I cannot call you in Korea and you obviously can call me since you have to chew ( Read more... )

 Another difficult day. I feel emotionally weak. Rough with the girls. I mean its not their fault. Its just hard when I have them both crying at the same time and I have to choose which one to let keep crying to tend to the other. By the end of it all they are both crying because the other is crying and I just want to cry with them.  I have had ( Read more... )

 Tonight has been exceptionally peaceful. Though I am exhausted, I feel beyond comfortable. Partly because I was able to take an uninterrupted shower for the first time since Will left. Also, because the girls are peaceful and sleepy. Brenna has been going through a no napping phase unless shes nursing, but took a good nap today in her swing which ( Read more... )

I was going to write yesterday but obviously didn't make that happen. It was a terrible day to say the least, one of the worst in a while. Not that anything catastrophic happened, it was just really difficult. Playing the role of mommy and daddy is taxing. I can do it because I have to, no doubt about it. But, I have days where I feel like all I do ( Read more... )