Can tonight be any more...confusing. I tried to take a candle lit bubble bath to clear my head and collect my thoughts. I am a bit more relaxed now...But my heart is lurching and I wanna scream. Tell me....why am I up waiting for you...when you have no respect for me. For the fact I have to get up early and its already one 'o clock in the ( Read more... )

Is it just me or does "here comes the bride" have a alternate tone maybe an obscure hidden message to those who are getting married for the wrong reasons? Like the music they play when you get an answer wrong on a crappy game show or something bad is about to happen and your friends try to make a joke out of it. Seems eerie to me. YES this is ( Read more... )

 It sucks...and it's silly. But you can't seem to help how your brain functions sometimes in situations like this. It is so easy to get feelings hurt...or too feel less loved than you were before the test. That's what it is a big test... Then I feel unfair because he has so many other things to be worried about like keeping safe. I feel like when ( Read more... )

 Should have known having a good day and posting about it would jinx my weekend. Horrible.

Hurry up True Blood I need a pick me up.

 Well I was going to work out, and I did for like 15 minutes, but my neck is in so much pain. My guess is its from trying to lay on the floor, do the exercises, while still trying to look at the tv to see what I'm suppose to be doing. Boo. On the upside I did double my work out yesterday so I think doing less today isn't so bad. Or maybe that is ( Read more... )

 I'm feeling horrible lately. Unappreciated, unloved, neglected, unimportant, etc. I know its a combination of things. Is it so much to ask for a little appreciation?  A response to something I say on facebook, a letter, flowers, whatever it is that he feels like doing for me? Which is none of those. It is like the relationship has flat lined and I ( Read more... )

 So I have been thinking a lot, which isn't always good. But, mainly it had become more persistent after a conversation with William. He had said, completely lovingly and innocently, "I can't wait to get home and see my beautiful girlfriend and my beautiful daughter ." As sweet as it was it struck a chord with me and broke my heart. I wanted to cry ( Read more... )

 FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK KJLSDHFKHSDKFH SDLKFHKLSDH GKLSDH FKLSDJHF LKSDJF HSDLK FJHSD.

seriously. 

 Ever just stop and evaluate your life? I'm sure everyone does. When I get that brief quiet time to myself my mind always wanders. Tonight, it was thoughts about my where I am in my life. I guess what sparked the thought was talking a little bit with William about his deployment. First time we really really acknowledged it. Yes we bring up the ( Read more... )

Ok so after this amazing weekend, this entry comes completely out left field. Why does it seem that I am the only one bothered by our lack of common interests? I mean you make it seem like i'm over reacting or being dramatic when I bring it up, so I wont any more. But, I don't feel like its all in my head. This weekend you even said it doesn't ( Read more... )