i can't stop smiling today. 
maybe it's because its my 21st bday weekend
maybe its because things are getting better with him
maybe its because i feel genuinely loved 
i don't know why

but I'm really excited for everything in my near future. 
and finally, again, i'm really happy.

thought you'd like to know.  

i don't really "blog" that much on other things than my personal life and thoughts anymore so....

the SAG awards were last night....few things...
Ellen Page should've won...instead...Julie Christie got it. figures. 
the In Memoriam with Heath Ledger at the end...stabbing reminder.


( Read more... )

heath ledger is dead. 
sleeping pills in nyc. 
he was just warming up.

im in a bit of shock. 
he was 28. 
crazy.

ok, some very recent stuff ive written. 
i personally think these kinda suck, but id like some outside opinions. 
these also arent full works. just what ive got so far. and am stuck now.

Nathaniel,
   I'm heartshattered.
      And you don't seem to care.

With your sky eyes 
       That glaze over me,

Nathaniel,
  I'm tumbling again.
      And you ( Read more... )

i have this feeling deep in my ribs...
this is the year things are gonna be different. 
2008 will be a year of greatness.

i hope im right.

ninedays!

ive hit a wall. 
everyone else around me has found a way over or around this wall, 
this wall that has found a way to stay in front of me. 
and i keep hitting my head on it when i try to walk through. 
i just can't seem to get around it. 
im stuck. 
and i just keep walking into this goddamn wall. 
and i cant seem to come up with a reason as to why.

its ( Read more... )

why am i surprised?
lies and bullshit 
and bullshit and lies
you'd think i'd give up
after so many tries
but my finger's on the trigger
and my eyes are on the prize.

sometimes i get so ridiculously terrified

i forget how to breathe.

instead,

i'll somersault into something new.

because we both know i was never one for the ordinary.

i don't have the energy to hold this grudge ( Read more... )