For six years I've been holding back a response. 6 years of emotion building up and instead of confronting it I concocted a personality devoid of those emotions so I could dodge the experience. And now I've started to identify with the concoction. Like a layer away from myself. My full presence in the moment is always preoccupied. I guess I'm ( Read more... )

Let it be known far and wide,
That at my lowest of emotional lows,
Coupled with my highest of intellectual highs,
It has been none other than my urge to fornicate,
That has pushed me forward.

Showing me that in the end,
The cortex loses the fight,
To hide the truth,
That I'm still just an animal,
with a dick.

And balls.

Depression's a bitch.

i LOVE compulsion

Amidst a writhing labyrinth of broken coils sparking and fuming and colliding and entwining, through a violent and desperate struggle for repair, there must be one coherent strand. A keystone of identity, a unifying principle. I'm looking for the prism, one tiny piece that when shone through, reveals the full spectrum of potentials, telling the ( Read more... )

So as the drumroll subsides we begin to appreciate that all along, it's not been a question of understanding... no. Understanding has always been first and foremost present. Further understanding is extraneous, as well as much of that which has already been understood. What's truthfully been driving all along is mere disposition. Much more compact ( Read more... )

This one goes out as a tip of the hat to Jed, who asked me some time ago why I never let anyone in. The question was posed in jest, but it struck me as profound, and stayed with me for quite some time. I've come to realize lately, what I've always hated and loved the most about my father was his desire to hold me back from myself. What I mean by ( Read more... )

Balance is a strobing illusion, created by rapidly flipping between poles. The light is either off or on, but when you flip fast enough it seems to be neither and both.

Moments of extreme pain and divine inspiration smashed so closely against one another in no perceivable order, such that they begin to blur and become almost indiscernible, a stop on the path to flow.

World's First Baby Born Directly Into Oncoming Battering Ram!

Stupidly it survived, and nobody knows why...