What happened in my mind today was merely a glitch in the way to go about normal things in my life at the moment. I shook my head several times and the thought zoomed out through my ear hole with no fight what so ever. I pushed it away, like a runt. A runt... in my thoughts? That's weird. That's different. That's insane. No.. it's just not right. ( Read more... )

OK. I was at South Beach today, and I was like. woah. THIS is the part of Miami that writers illustrate in their "readable tour guides" isn't it? The lights, the people on the streets, the funky restaraunts, the clubs... the sandy beaches... THIS is what people come for..


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imagine if they had not been just silly pills that gave me a mere stomach ache.. why the fuck am i thinking about this now? I'm thinking about the mask that my family sees me wearing... the excuse I made to calm them down... the excuse that was to calm me down.. but it only left a gnawing feeling of remorse and guilt in the pit of my poisoned ( Read more... )

ok.. uh today made me feel insanely great, and it left me thinking there's some hope for me in this relentless world, anyway. Maybe... lol. Maybe I should stop thinking my thoughts and dwelling on them, cause they are what cause me to think of such evil things to do. No one will ever understand why I did what I did, not that they could, cause I won ( Read more... )

ok. so I'm feeling a bit nauseaous, right now... I hate being in my room. It makes me feel like.. really bad and sad and depressed. Hopefully, I won't get stupid thoughts and do the things that I tried once before.. though this room seems to plague me with thoughts of nothing else. It's ok. I had a lot to think about this weekend, being isolated ( Read more... )

on one part, i am regretful that i was unsuccesful. On the other, I am sort of happy. My family was really there for me, and luckily for me, did not get angry... but other people did. That one sort of hurt. Well, I don't even know why I did this.. well, I do, but no one ever will, cause of course, I'll get critisized for it. I'm gonna go help my ( Read more... )

Is it wrong when you are jealous of people? Isn't is a normal human feeling? I mean, I have a bestfriend, I can be jealous when he talks more to other people and leaves me in the shadows of his phoneline.. right? I can be jealous when my bestfriend talks more to her boyfriend more then she ever did to me on the phone, right? I don't know, there so ( Read more... )

"what if all the world you think you know is an ellaborate dream ( Read more... )

Um. I like the song I am hearing, even though it sorta makes me like.. eh-ish. Lately, I seem to be getting on everyone's nerves, and vice-versa. That's not a very good thing is it... I hate being human, though I'm told it's the greatest gift in the world. I hate not knowing what to expect, and I hate hating what comes in surprise. Then again, ( Read more... )

what does this song remind me of...? I'm just hearing it.. and all that flashes into my mind are 4 letters. Z-A-J-Z. Now un-scramble those. It's just like, wow. everything is O.K now.. just a bit of nostalgic feelings here or there.. but between us, everything is good. But.. when I hear this song, it reminds me of how sad I was.. of how angry and ( Read more... )