brain fuzz. function shut down. can't sleep. the sleep I get is not enough ( Read more... )

ah yes, a favored pastime of mine, shooting through a hour of browsing craigslist looking for jobs and apartments. I find myself strangely experiencing deja-vu from 3 months ago, same feelings of anxiety starting to well in the corners of my mind ( Read more... )

things ( Read more... )

vomit. scream. vomit. scream. cry. kick things. vomit. scream.

breathe.

so many men recently. but one that seems like the winner ( Read more... )

im so happy its raining.

the city is blanketed in a glorious sheet of gloom.

my hungover eyes are much appreciative.

i think im gonna stay single. no one to tie me down.

i think im gonna see someone about my acid stomach. maybe i should stop drinking first.

AA anyone?

i cried for the first time and work yesterday. my dust mask was soaked with tears while I sanded, the sawdust and saline solution becoming a thick paste on the front of my mask. Eddie, the other employee/the boss' head woodman asked me something and I looked up wtih wild and blurry eyes, shoulders heaving beneath my choked sobs and the weight of ( Read more... )

when i moved to north carolina i forgot all of my underwear.

when i moved to brooklyn, i remembered underwear but forgot towels.

somewhere, someone is smiling at my lack of organization as i apply for job after job with the guiles of being on top of the ball and a master of organizational production.

im all about this recycling of men. it works out pretty well. especially when they are sweet and kiss your cheek and have no qualms being silly at the beach all day. however, its also a good reminder of why you broke up in the first place. the casual aspect of this, however, reduces the need to overthink anything. and you still get giddy when ( Read more... )

TWO JOB INTERVIEWS IN NY ON MONDAY- one in a frame shop in bushwick- so wood, the other with a jeweler who uses antique letter presses to hammer letters into jewelery- so metal. BOTH with my hands. and I didn't have to pretend to NOT be female in order to get the interviews ( Read more... )