there was a cockroach in Jen's bed last night. please God, I know I haven't been the most faithful person, but if you're watching this... please let my new apartment close right now so I can move in tomorrow? if a roach touches me, I might kill myself ( Read more... )

I went through my clothes today and made a bag of things I don't wear to give to Goodwill. I don't know why getting rid of things makes me sad, but it does ( Read more... )

I've been doing mostly nothing. last night I saw Broadway Bares which was really fun and made me want to be anorexic. not going so great so far though. I wrote a song! I just finished writing it right now. I'm actually really proud of it. Chris and I have been playing and singing, and some of my old songs have really turned out well. I'm excited ( Read more... )

this is my first normal (non-epic) entry from real-life land. it's not so bad, mainly because I don't ever plan on actually joining real life. I'm working on writing songs, and Chris is helping, and hopefully I can get a band together or something, because that's so much more true to the heart of things. when I'm hungry for acting again, I'll do it ( Read more... )

I've been wanting to write, but I feel like I can't do anything until I finish this. I can't tell if it's that I'm afraid to say goodbye to everything. I know that the goodbye is only symbolic. but sometimes the symbol is the hardest thing, I think ( Read more... )

I finished the showcase... my last night at CAP as a performer, ever. I'll probably be in a constant state of tears for at least the ensuing week or two, during which I'll work on part four, culminating (obviously) in my suicide. just kidding. sort of. so. junior year ( Read more... )

I've had a few more markers, mostly just the symbolic type, so I figured that it's time to move on to sophomore year ( Read more... )

yesterday was my last full day of classes... ever. the way this is all winding down has a sense of anti-climax to it, since I'm staying here in New York, and most of the people I know are, too. it isn't like High School in that respect. the big saying goodbye, the separating yourself, finally, fitfully, from your childhood. but this is the big one ( Read more... )

my life right now consists of entirely too much drinking and getting myself into bad (potentially life-threatening) situations. it's funny how time repeats itself, and mistakes are rarely learned from. you'd think that with my particular track record, I'd be more careful. I laugh, because if i don't, I'll cry ( Read more... )

things are pretty good right now, I love my friends and there are leaves and flowers on the trees. the whole world is green. we're rehearsing for the showcase, I can't tell you how nice it feels to rehearse something. and I played songs for friends tonight, for the first time in New York. it was scary but good. soon my schedule will be less ( Read more... )