the emptiness i've found

[boisterousnegro]

Today was awful. I know that's probably really shallow of me to say, because I did not get raped or kidnapped or lose anyone close to me. But it was just one of those days when I just felt trapped in my own house, a prisoner to my own negative thoughts, and was constantly on the verge of tears. I guess it began from the beginning. I woke up around

Comments

the emptiness i've always known

[2huesoxcrusader]

Im sorry.

[twogirltrio]

man you and i are at the exact same spots in our lives... rather, you are where i was a month and a half ago. it feels soooo good and soooo painful at the same time to get rid of some of that stuff... i remember my mom yelling at me and the only way to let out my anger was to go up to my room and start throwing things into trash bags, tearing down my canopy bed, and taking the pictures off the walls. the longing for independence became more of a necessity than a wanting... it's weird to read this because it is pretty much reading about myself but i didn't write it. the only difference is that you are leaving further away, when i only moved 6 miles... my mom is still hurting though. i hope all goes well and i hope you see my sympathy and know that you can talk to me via livejournal or myspace anytime. <3

[boisterousnegro]

Thanks Steph, you're awesome. Hope everything turns out well for you!

=)

[anonymous]

I'd rather catch the black plague than give up that midnight time slot. =)

So if I'm coughing up blood when you come back for Christmas, you'll know why.

I know you feel like you're leaving everything behind. But when you leave, you're going to realise that it's a lot more like shedding an old skin and growing a new one that fits you better.

At least, that's my opinion.

And this piece of your old skin will still be around for the occasional late night AIM session when you feel like you need another point of view.

[mirage87]

my room is in boxes
and i haven't seen anyone weeks
i know how you feel
but it will be good for you
you need your independence and you need to stretch your wings
once you do everything will fall in to place
just think in 2 weeks you won't have to listen to anything anyone says.. again
unless you want to
you'll be independent

[boisterousnegro]

Thank goodness. I think it'll be good for both of us.

[lovingme4me]

I feel like I'm reading my own thoughts.
Even though I'm not moving nearly as far as you are.
My parents are totally getting rid of all my stuff, and they're turning my room into a guest room/office.
So, whenever I come home, which will probably be a lot, because let's face it, I'm only moving like 20 minutes away, I won't even have my own room. I know how you feel.
I'm so sorry you're hurting, but know you're not alone. I think pretty much everyone who is going off to college feels at least a little bit like you do.
I wouldn't worry, about you and your friends. Everyone is about to experience probably the most life-changing thing ever, and I don't think anyone quite knows how to handle it...hence the fake smiles at Lauren's going away party.
I'm pretty sure, with your friends and with mine, all that will go away once everyone is settled and adjusted. Give it time, and don't worry.

I know you'll do great.

[boisterousnegro]

Thanks Lauren, I'm going to miss your eloquence a lot. I read your own post, and I know that you will succeed. You have such a bright future ahead of you, and the people that love you won't let your fears become a reality. Have fun next year!