Letter to a disreputable brother (links & narrative, very long)
17 September 2006 (or 1916, if we must be technical)
Dear Jonathan,
Yes, I know it's been over a week since I wrote, but honestly, nothing spectacularly interesting has happened. Unless you count the gremlin kick-line. Which I don't, it was quite interesting and I intend to support any protests for their personal rights, but it was rather brief, really. I'm beginning to think people are 'messing with me' about some of Fandom's dangers. Really, I'm adjusting splendidly!
I had my first Myth into History class a week ago Thursday, taught by Dr. Janice Covington. Brilliant woman. She reminds me of that one Oxford don whom Father invited to tea though, the one with the peacock? Anyway. She'd be about four in 1916, and don't think that doesn't give me some odd moments. She had us throwing baby dolls in the air for science. Although there was a point to it, about testing all possible historical records, which I think is very valid. (Although I did have some bad memories of what you did to Catherine Mary, that doll I had when I was six. You were not a good brother sometimes, Jonathan.)Later that same day I had some lovely conversations in the 5th Floor Common Room. John Dorian (JD) and I are hoping to turn someone into a camel. I'm not sure who, precisely. But he's dating the love of JD's life, so I think it's forgivable. Although I'm not certain how possible it is. I also spoke with Peter Pevensie-- charming boy, although he hasn't been born yet, and occasionally, I find myself frightened about that, although what are the odds I go back to 1916 and somehow make it so he's never born? And Naomi, who I don't have to worry about that with, because she's from the future. And half-alien-species. Really, it makes mother being Egyptian look entirely common place, some of the variations one can find here. Also on hand was the odious Mr. Hutter. Who is in two of my classes, and a dunce in both. I don't think he's even trying, really. Why would one use morse code on a telephone?
The next evening I had the satisfaction of seeing someone pummeling him quite thoroughly on the front lawn from my window. I still don't know who that was. But I ended up talking to Jack about a few minor, unimportant-not-to-worry things which dear lord I could never discuss with you, ever, so I suppose I don't seem him as *that* much of an older brother, that were bothering me here directly after that, and ended up feeling much better. I miss you most and least when I talk to Jack, Jonathan. I rather think the two of you would be drinking buddies if you ever visited Fandom.
Most of Saturday I spent studying, and at the cinema-- which are marvelous, Jonathan, you'd never believe what they can accomplish now-- but I did manage to meet Willow Rosenberg, talk to Dean-next-door, and Layla, my roommate, of course. Willow's another witch-- I have a list of them somewhere-- and not one of them resembles either the crones in the Biblical texts, a pantomime witch, or the rather silly women who lived down the lane from us and were constantly chanting to the fairies and talking about Aleister Crowley. I rather think Crowley would get an ugly shock, were he to meet any of my classmates. Dean Forrester is a very nice young man who you will never get to meet if I can help it and Layla and I have a great deal in common, despite her being born in the last half of the twentieth century. Mostly to do with boys, but you'd find that bit boring. And, well. I shan't be getting ice-cream with Jim Ellison, as it turns out. I had a chance to meet him and his new girlfriend earlier in the day. They make a charming couple. Really. Blair was quite nice and took me out for ice cream, and then I went to the Cinema alone, like an Adult Modern Woman. So it's all fine.
Sunday morning breakfast was most ably provided by the other Dean I know, Dean Winchester, and I met two other people at the luncheon he provided, Jake Gavin and JC Broots, after chatting with Agnes again as well. (Why can't you be the sort of brother who cooks? Are you still tipping the porters extra to get you hard-boiled eggs from the market? I do hope you're eating healthy.) Dean's family hunts demons, and his father is currently teaching here-- can you imagine the reactions he would get at a Magdalen dinner? Sometimes I amuse myself, planning banquets where I invite people from Fandom to Oxford. Jake in particular-- well. He's-- she's-- He. He's a he. But he can become a she-- Jake is a shapeshifter. You'd have all the worst ideas, I think, if you met him, but I found him charming. And as a result of another conversation, I managed to obtain help with my computer from Mr. Broots, who was kind enough to explain how a few things work and not at all embarass me about the photos that had ended up on there, thank heaven.
My second class in 21st Century Culture dealt with phones rather successfully, *I* think, and I chatted with Mr. Stark again. But World History was even better, and I think we're going to set up a study group for it! Although something I did in that class had a Mr. Eric Weiss calling me a 'Geek' on the radio. I looked that up, and it's someone who bites the heads off chickens! In a carnival! I really must speak with him, and clear up this confusion. I then spent the day in the library on Tuesday, and you'll be happy to hear that it's still in one piece. As am I. I told you what happened in London was a completely unlikely coincidence, and never was going to happen again. Ha. This time I was the one dangling, not the librarian. I also had my class on Internet for Dummies on Wednesday, which definitely made me feel like one. Apparently that was the point, though, so I successfully completed the exercise. Oh! And a lovely drink called Caff-Pow! Which I definitely need to get more of. Must remember to ask Professor Abby where she obtains her supply.
My second Myth Into History class was a *bit* more successful. I talked with Sam Winchester, who looks *exactly* like Dean-Next-Door, Zack Addy, a fellow scientist, Janet Fraiser again, and Dr. Covington. Then I had a humiliating time with a magic scroll. No, I shan't give you details. Except that your sister has no career ahead of her as a writer a la Arthur Conan Doyle. The end. I told Layla about that on Friday, and sympathized with her over being given Detention for no reason at all! If you hear about me getting Detention, Jonathan, I can assure you that I will have done nothing to earn it!
Well, except if it's about the camel.
Student Council elections are coming up, and I asked various questions of those who've chosen to campaign for Sophomore Class Representative. Including my roommate, who is running on an environmental platform! I do so hope she wins. I also had a nice talk with
Chad and again, I stress that I will do nothing to earn Detention. Ever.
I miss you terribly, and Mum and Dad as well. But I'm having a lovely time, and there may be an archaeology club soon, and I really think I'm learning a great deal. Please remember what I said about France. You really are best off in Cairo.
My pocket money is holding out quite well, my health is good, and I'm not at all in danger of being debauched. Sadly. No one else has even turned into an animal recently!
Write back soon and finish telling me about Mustafa bin-Aled and the problem with the construction site---
Much love
from your sister,
Evie
P.S. Could you send me more of the khakis that are in storage in Cairo? It may be that I'll have need of them soon.
P.P.S. No I shall *not* be sending you the names of the horses who won the English Derby. Or the Kentucky Derby. Or the Arc de Triomphe. Don't ask me again, Jonathan. That's very annoying.
P.P.P.S. When I finally understand how the television works, I promise I shall explain it. Until then, I'm as baffled as you.
Love - ETC
Dear Jonathan,
Yes, I know it's been over a week since I wrote, but honestly, nothing spectacularly interesting has happened. Unless you count the gremlin kick-line. Which I don't, it was quite interesting and I intend to support any protests for their personal rights, but it was rather brief, really. I'm beginning to think people are 'messing with me' about some of Fandom's dangers. Really, I'm adjusting splendidly!
I had my first Myth into History class a week ago Thursday, taught by Dr. Janice Covington. Brilliant woman. She reminds me of that one Oxford don whom Father invited to tea though, the one with the peacock? Anyway. She'd be about four in 1916, and don't think that doesn't give me some odd moments. She had us throwing baby dolls in the air for science. Although there was a point to it, about testing all possible historical records, which I think is very valid. (Although I did have some bad memories of what you did to Catherine Mary, that doll I had when I was six. You were not a good brother sometimes, Jonathan.)Later that same day I had some lovely conversations in the 5th Floor Common Room. John Dorian (JD) and I are hoping to turn someone into a camel. I'm not sure who, precisely. But he's dating the love of JD's life, so I think it's forgivable. Although I'm not certain how possible it is. I also spoke with Peter Pevensie-- charming boy, although he hasn't been born yet, and occasionally, I find myself frightened about that, although what are the odds I go back to 1916 and somehow make it so he's never born? And Naomi, who I don't have to worry about that with, because she's from the future. And half-alien-species. Really, it makes mother being Egyptian look entirely common place, some of the variations one can find here. Also on hand was the odious Mr. Hutter. Who is in two of my classes, and a dunce in both. I don't think he's even trying, really. Why would one use morse code on a telephone?
The next evening I had the satisfaction of seeing someone pummeling him quite thoroughly on the front lawn from my window. I still don't know who that was. But I ended up talking to Jack about a few minor, unimportant-not-to-worry things which dear lord I could never discuss with you, ever, so I suppose I don't seem him as *that* much of an older brother, that were bothering me here directly after that, and ended up feeling much better. I miss you most and least when I talk to Jack, Jonathan. I rather think the two of you would be drinking buddies if you ever visited Fandom.
Most of Saturday I spent studying, and at the cinema-- which are marvelous, Jonathan, you'd never believe what they can accomplish now-- but I did manage to meet Willow Rosenberg, talk to Dean-next-door, and Layla, my roommate, of course. Willow's another witch-- I have a list of them somewhere-- and not one of them resembles either the crones in the Biblical texts, a pantomime witch, or the rather silly women who lived down the lane from us and were constantly chanting to the fairies and talking about Aleister Crowley. I rather think Crowley would get an ugly shock, were he to meet any of my classmates. Dean Forrester is a very nice young man who you will never get to meet if I can help it and Layla and I have a great deal in common, despite her being born in the last half of the twentieth century. Mostly to do with boys, but you'd find that bit boring. And, well. I shan't be getting ice-cream with Jim Ellison, as it turns out. I had a chance to meet him and his new girlfriend earlier in the day. They make a charming couple. Really. Blair was quite nice and took me out for ice cream, and then I went to the Cinema alone, like an Adult Modern Woman. So it's all fine.
Sunday morning breakfast was most ably provided by the other Dean I know, Dean Winchester, and I met two other people at the luncheon he provided, Jake Gavin and JC Broots, after chatting with Agnes again as well. (Why can't you be the sort of brother who cooks? Are you still tipping the porters extra to get you hard-boiled eggs from the market? I do hope you're eating healthy.) Dean's family hunts demons, and his father is currently teaching here-- can you imagine the reactions he would get at a Magdalen dinner? Sometimes I amuse myself, planning banquets where I invite people from Fandom to Oxford. Jake in particular-- well. He's-- she's-- He. He's a he. But he can become a she-- Jake is a shapeshifter. You'd have all the worst ideas, I think, if you met him, but I found him charming. And as a result of another conversation, I managed to obtain help with my computer from Mr. Broots, who was kind enough to explain how a few things work and not at all embarass me about the photos that had ended up on there, thank heaven.
My second class in 21st Century Culture dealt with phones rather successfully, *I* think, and I chatted with Mr. Stark again. But World History was even better, and I think we're going to set up a study group for it! Although something I did in that class had a Mr. Eric Weiss calling me a 'Geek' on the radio. I looked that up, and it's someone who bites the heads off chickens! In a carnival! I really must speak with him, and clear up this confusion. I then spent the day in the library on Tuesday, and you'll be happy to hear that it's still in one piece. As am I. I told you what happened in London was a completely unlikely coincidence, and never was going to happen again. Ha. This time I was the one dangling, not the librarian. I also had my class on Internet for Dummies on Wednesday, which definitely made me feel like one. Apparently that was the point, though, so I successfully completed the exercise. Oh! And a lovely drink called Caff-Pow! Which I definitely need to get more of. Must remember to ask Professor Abby where she obtains her supply.
My second Myth Into History class was a *bit* more successful. I talked with Sam Winchester, who looks *exactly* like Dean-Next-Door, Zack Addy, a fellow scientist, Janet Fraiser again, and Dr. Covington. Then I had a humiliating time with a magic scroll. No, I shan't give you details. Except that your sister has no career ahead of her as a writer a la Arthur Conan Doyle. The end. I told Layla about that on Friday, and sympathized with her over being given Detention for no reason at all! If you hear about me getting Detention, Jonathan, I can assure you that I will have done nothing to earn it!
Well, except if it's about the camel.
Student Council elections are coming up, and I asked various questions of those who've chosen to campaign for Sophomore Class Representative. Including my roommate, who is running on an environmental platform! I do so hope she wins. I also had a nice talk with
Chad and again, I stress that I will do nothing to earn Detention. Ever.
I miss you terribly, and Mum and Dad as well. But I'm having a lovely time, and there may be an archaeology club soon, and I really think I'm learning a great deal. Please remember what I said about France. You really are best off in Cairo.
My pocket money is holding out quite well, my health is good, and I'm not at all in danger of being debauched. Sadly. No one else has even turned into an animal recently!
Write back soon and finish telling me about Mustafa bin-Aled and the problem with the construction site---
Much love
from your sister,
Evie
P.S. Could you send me more of the khakis that are in storage in Cairo? It may be that I'll have need of them soon.
P.P.S. No I shall *not* be sending you the names of the horses who won the English Derby. Or the Kentucky Derby. Or the Arc de Triomphe. Don't ask me again, Jonathan. That's very annoying.
P.P.P.S. When I finally understand how the television works, I promise I shall explain it. Until then, I'm as baffled as you.
Love - ETC