my butt itches like fuck all the time recently. I think it has to do with getting anal from mario batali. I'm not sure thogh, because i am cheating on him with usher, and i have chronic diarrea

love,
barb

PS
and scabies

jenna and anthony fig newton convo

Between You and Jenna


Jenna December 25 at 5:46pm

Jenna
hi
5:28pmAnthony
hey
you are one of barbs friends right?
5:29pmJenna
no I hate her now
x friend
5:29pmAnthony
haha why do you hate her?
5:29pmJenna
she killed my pet hampster name gweggie
5: ( Read more... )

John Tard CHRISTMAS ORGY!!! WHAT BETTER WAY TO CELEBRATE THE BIRTH OF SANTA CLAUSE...MY PLACE TONIGHT!!
5 minutes ago · Comment ·

Sam Haze
jesus christ dude...
3 minutes ago



John Tard
who?
3 minutes ago



Sam Haze
i unno, something about a carpenter that got nailed to boards...
2 minutes ago



John Tard
Keith Tard is a Carpenter
about a minute ago



Sam Haze
so ( Read more... )

Note the extremely long run-on sentence. Grammar obviously hates her. Also, she is referring to her mother when she says "she" in this passage. While I had awoke early after my innocent night of New Moon and pie, to start my day early to get important things done and got her coffee she stole the bread that was mine from my Grandmother's and could ( Read more... )

So my friend's roommate is a little nutty and we decided to look through her shit. This is what we stumbled upon - five packs of Oreos, a lot of Twilight memorabilia and a journal. It's a little boring at parts, so let me high-light the interesting bits. In order to protect the rights and such of the people in this journal, I have changed their ( Read more... )

GUY: man, some dick ratings-bombed my videos

Barb: suckkss

GUY: indeed

I have a couple of suspects

Barb: who?

GUY: my stepbrother, some people from school I don't get along with very well

GUY changes his status to: Whoever bombed my stuff had better watch out, or I'm breaking out the ack-ack.

GUY: worst bit is youtube won't tell you who ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

( Read more... )

Was it actually the wrong convo? Do I actually like Mountain Dew? YOU WILL NEVER KNOW!

1. go to the speakeasy bar in crif dogs.
2. get some gay tattoo with chris.
3. get a purity ring for no reason. then fuck a lot.
4. go to the church of scientology and get thetan levels read (high?).
5. actually finish 'the city of lost children'.
6. make a short film.
7. go to the armoury show. AND DON'T FORGET THIS TIME.
8. make lots of money.
9. slap a ( Read more... )