Depression survival

[bop_radar]

In the last months I suffered a breakdown (panic attacks) and relapse of my depression. At times I've been so disconnected I had no idea who I was and my thinking has been paranoic and distorted (but I don't recognise it as such at the time). However I have lucid times as well and still hope to be able to stay off medication

Comments

[svmadelyn]

As a side note to the omega 3 portion - olive oil! It's such a small thing, but I really feel like it's helped me.

Good luck with everything, seriously.

[bop_radar]

Awesome! Yeah, I threw out all other oils ... I'm glad to hear it helped you!

[yamakasi]

i'm sorry to hear about your relapse. this is just a setback, though -- i know you can pull through this. ♥

i must confess that i have not commented on your previous entry about this because (and you may not recall we talked about this before) my mother has had a very positive experience after stopping her lithium and i didn't want that to come off as insensitive to the issues you are experiencing.

anyway.

i am a firm believer that meds are not the "be-all-end-all" when it comes to treatment -- and in a lot of cases of depression therapy can be just as effective if not moreso than meds -- and it is very interesting to see what does & doesn't work for you.

my brother has depression and while he is on meds (which i think his psychiatrist put him on too early & at too high a dose but that's another story) he is also very much into mindfullness meditation and other ways of approaching it.

thank you for sharing.

[bop_radar]

Thanks for commenting! And for the positivity. :) It's very good to hear about positive post-meds stories actually! I don't know anyone who's been on depression meds as long as me and come off successfully--and belief that it's possible is half the battle. So it's good to hear about your mum!

I know that if I ever go back on medication I will do better than before because I have other ways as well to manage things. I remind myself of that on my despairing days. It's a common story with psychiatrists to put people on too much (my psychiatrist upped me to a level where I was basically passing out all the time). I know there are good psychiatrists out there but a lot just think 'more drugs' as solution to all. So sympathies re. your brother. But it's great that he has more than that alone in his treatment plan! :)

[yamakasi]

oh, i am glad, then! mum is bipolar and she had been on the meds for 25+ years. since coming off them these past 6 months there was a period of time where she had to readjust her emotions (she didn't have as great emotional control as she thought) but now she is much better. they had to take her off because one of the negative side effects of being on lithium for that long for her was that she had episodes where she couldn't control her body properly. but that has now cleared up.

yes, most recently my brother had a very "eventful" period of time: he moved out, got a new job, came down with a bad cold and couldn't do his job for a few weeks and then relapsed. and what did the psychiatrist do instead of acknowledging that MAYBE these recent events could be contributing to my brother's depressed state? upped the meds. *sigh*

i really do think that in a lot of cases there is more than one answer. :] i am glad others believe so too!

[bop_radar]

That's SO good about your mum! And good to hear that she could rebalance her emotions in time. I think part of what I'm going through is an attempt to rebalance my emotions (my depression was always pretty moodswingy--though not full bipolar). Unfortunately I went through a relationship/life crisis simultaneously--so that kind of blew everything out

[darlulu]

Thanks for the links. I'm gonna check out what the curetogether report looks like for anxiety.

*big hugs*

[bop_radar]

Thanks! :) The one for anxiety is useful too! I never had such high anxiety as recently so I had to quickly learn some things about managing it--quite different than my old depression tactics which were more about getting myself moving.

[braver_creature]

Sorry to hear about the major episode.

I spent a lot of months this year fighting one off (I think? Maybe? How does any of this shit actually work?)

I don't know if you're in any mood to read about such things, but if you're looking for any meditations on depression, I highly highly recommend the Noonday Demon by Andrew Solomon.

He's so utterly comprehensive and *fairminded* and kind and writes about his own experiences and those of others and SCIENCE and FEELINGS intellectually AND beautifully that I found a lot of comfort and self-assurance in it.

He has some (imo) very helpful musings on the intersection between depression and personality/character.

But yeah, I really identify with "Point 1" and in fact most of your "to-do" list. My breakthrough last year was about giving myself permission to have a "non-starter" day. It's obvs more complicated than that, but I found that by forgiving/allowing myself to have days that just aren't happening, I had those days less often.

Also: TL;DR 4 LIFE!

[bop_radar]

God, yeah, I know... how do you know when you're winning? It's hard to tell. I have days when I think 'I am doing really well all things considered!' and others where I despair completely--my mood swings are giving me whiplash.

Thanks for the rec! It sounds comforting!

And thank you for letting me know you too found accepting yourself where you are now to be helpful. I've been really pushing myself to be better and it's sometimes counterproductive. Yes, I do need to get out of bed and do stuff, but I'm trying to learn to talk to myself more gently about it. I'm glad you managed to have a breakthrough with that! Gives me some hope...

[devohoneybee]

thanks so much for this! I run a group on depression and am always glad to have all the alternatives available to share with people so they can each find their own best solution or combination of solutions. I will share these links with the group. FYI, some of them don't seem to be working -- can you post the full urls, please?

[bop_radar]

Thanks! I think I fixed the links now. I hope they prove useful.