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[br0ken__smile_]

i had an appointment with the therapist today. since he cancelled on me last week, i was pretty pissed at him. so i barely talked. it was actually a really good feeling, as bad as that sounds. i wouldn't look at him, and gave him really simple answers. there were a bunch of awkward silences. so he knew i was mad at him. yes, and since my mother saw

Comments

hi

[tatteredwings69]

it doesnt sound crazy hun...im the same way sometimes...depressed but think "shall i try make myself feel better or sink into the hole further and listen to depressing music" and i choose that one..there's comfort in it somehow..
*hugs* i hope cutting doesnt affect your future...i think that sucks anyway and dont think they should be allowed to take it into consideration!
please take care and try cut less hun

Re: hi

[br0ken__smile_]

its good to know that other people feel the same way, 'cause yeah, i really thought i was pretty crazy for feeling like that.

and thanks for caring<3

i'll try.

*hugs back*

omg lol

[i_want_to_die21]

omg i can't believe it...it's like i'm you're talking about me...omg lol like the part about the therapist cancelling and then not being responsive when seeing the therapist the next time..that happened to me all the time when i had this one therapist...lol and about feeling that you havne't cut deep enough...omg like when i cut i get angry if it doesn't bleed enough or if there's not enough scars...and the part about liking to be unhappy...omg i've never heard anyone feel the same way as i do on that...it's like i dunno maybe cuz i've been accustomed to being this one way for so long that's all i know and feel comfortable with so i dont want to change...i dunno but i like being this way...i like the attention, too, though...and i understand about the future thing my future's supposedly real fucked up now..since i got all my cutting on file and hospital visits and shit...lol well hang in there...i'm here for you if and when you need me...t2yl peace...

Re: omg lol

[br0ken__smile_]

hahaha, i swear, we're twins. lol.

yeah, i agree with all that about liking being this way, 'cause yeah, i do like it like this.

ugh, do the colleges and jobs and shit look at that stuff? 'cause.. i've been to a hospital too, and i'll prob. be returning this year again.. blehh

thankss.. <3

Re: omg lol

[i_want_to_die21]

omg serioulsy i swear we are lol...

and yea i think that certain jobs do look at this stuff...i don't really know about colleges...

yea i have a feeling i might end up back in the hospital, too, lol or at least i want to...you know it's like really comfortable there...

anyway...how have you been?

Re: omg lol

[br0ken__smile_]

um. alright. alone. lol. you?

but yeah, i like the hospital too. you're with people you can relate with and people that don't think you're crazy. but i think my therapist might send me back.. 'cause of how often and how much and whatnot.

[advocate18]

aww dont wrory.. that's happened to me.. i have cuts etc too.. from allergic reation to lithium..joy now on depakote.. hang in there.. therapy is great, if you find a great person.. i did, thankfully
take care :)
Jess

[br0ken__smile_]

i think its pretty ironic how some people hate therapy with a passion, but some people love it and depend on it. i am one who hates it, but it could just be my therapist..

your cuts are from an allergic reaction to lithium? am i just being nieve, haha, 'cause i don't understand.

thanks for caring:)

xoxoSarah

[advocate18]

lol was on lithium.. i got a rash.. made it look liek i cut myself w/ razor.. i used to contemplate cutting. depends on therapist.. i dont love it.. but i dont hate it.. i know i need it... so yeah.
i didnt bout sexual orientation.. but with this shit.. eah i need it.
well good luck :)
Jess

[br0ken__smile_]

haha thanks for clarifying. i'm stupid. kthx! :) lol

thanks.
good luck to you too, with whatever is going on in your life... haha

[teenagep0pstar]

liking being unhappy isnt crazy..i like being unhappy too.its just that things are so certain then,and you dont have to worry about being happy and then having things fall apart.you cant get kicked down again if you're already down.

[br0ken__smile_]

woah, that's so true.

i never thought about the already being down thing..

[teenagep0pstar]

is that a good thing or a bad

[br0ken__smile_]

good, its nice to understand

and have people to relate to.

thanks, xoxo

[broken6669420]

I have the same thing were it seems like all the scars become one big scar.

[br0ken__smile_]

yeah, i don't like it, i wish they'd just stay individual scars, i dk why though..