You are dealing with circumstances beyond your control. There have been many times when I have said, when X happens, I'll be happy. And then I'm not. But eventually, an X comes along, combined perhaps with some of the other Xs, and you find that while you may not be happy... things are better. And then better. And then better after that. Then a set back. Etc. It will not be like this forever. I'm sending you my thoughts.
Thank you, you're totally right. It can be so hard to look at the "big picture" and remember that life is a journey with ups and downs and then I get so disappointed when it's not a steady uphill climb. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who does this.
I don't have great answers for you, but I totally know how you feel. I hate that maddening sense of feeling trapped and isolated. Thank goodness August isn't far away. I guess my advice is to get out anyway, even if it seems pointless, because change of scenery is always good. Do you have LLL meetings or any kind of meeting or gathering that you could attend? I just think social interaction matters. I really think I could go crazy some days cooped up with my kids. *hugs*
You're right, I should just get out anyway. It just always feels like such a big production, you know? I literally look ALL the time for different groups and meetups we can go to, just to get out of the house and hang out with other parents/kids but it just seems like they're so few and far between where I am, or they're all older kids :\
Dude. The specifics are different, but I could have written this post any number of times since Rusty was born. I find it so hard to be motivated to do anything, when I know that Rusty will inevitably interrupt with a genuine need for attention, nursing, sleep, etc. In so many ways, it's easier to stay home, where he and I are both comfortable and he can sleep uninterrupted. But then I go CRAAAAZY! And shop on the internetz! I want to get out more, but I think I need to get Rusty on a more reliable nap schedule first. Someday.
Going for walks has kept me sane. And helped Rusty nap better.
And remember: this too shall pass! All of it shall!
P.S. But I'd definitely recommend trying to eat better. That's one thing you can do at home that will probably make you feel 10x better almost instantly. Fresh food is so much more energizing than junk food.
Going for walks is such a good idea, you've reminded me to check out the big park near our new place (we don't live on a main road or anything, it's just not very... walkable). I know for a fact that lack of sunlight affects my mood very negatively, I certainly need to get outside more.
It's funny that you mention the fresh foods, because whenever someone tells ME that they're feeling down that's the first thing I say to them haha. I'm not great at practicing what I preach I guess... it's sad when it seems so hard to even heat up some leftover pasta and veggies, or cut up some fruit - I need to work on prepping some easy healthy snacks for when I have no motivation.
Oh man, I hear you about shopping to make you feel better. I did that a lot during my son's first year. In fact, today I was feeling super crummy and the first thing I did was open a window to browse through stuff to buy. I didn't buy anything because money is super tight this month but it did make me feel better to add everything to the cart and then make this face: =O when it came up to almost $2,000. Then I told my husband when he finally came home and he made this face: >=0 Except not really. He guessed the cart was over $3,000 but didn't think $2,000 was a reasonable amount to spend at this moment in time. ; )
Haha yeah, my husband makes that face a lot... ;) I definitely have to use him as my accountability, sometimes when we're laying in bed at night I tell him all the things I *almost* bought that day and what they would have cost, there's a lot of =O going on then haha - but he doesn't realize that if I stop telling him about my financial near-mishaps then I really WOULD buy it all and it would be terrible.
I don't have a child, so I don't know exactly how your feeling but I can some what relate. The first month I spent in Texas I was miserable and very much feeling like you. I knew no one and spent all day in my house, discontent. I could say to myself "Go take a walk. Go knit. Go ride your bike," but when you're lonely you just don't have the motivation to do things.
And as for the online shopping - I spent hours each day doing such. My parents didn't get why packages from UO and Amazon kept coming to the house. Half the time I barely used what I bought, but it gave me something to look forward to.
But it gets better. Life can suck super hard, but eventually little by little, month by month things will improve. And I may be 2,000 miles and a time zone away - but I am ALWAYS here for you. I love you too much not to be.
Things will get better my love and you'll be the perfect housewife with the perfect home and perfect baby that you want to be. Just hang in there and call me when you need me.
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Going for walks has kept me sane. And helped Rusty nap better.
And remember: this too shall pass! All of it shall!
P.S. But I'd definitely recommend trying to eat better. That's one thing you can do at home that will probably make you feel 10x better almost instantly. Fresh food is so much more energizing than junk food.
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It's funny that you mention the fresh foods, because whenever someone tells ME that they're feeling down that's the first thing I say to them haha. I'm not great at practicing what I preach I guess... it's sad when it seems so hard to even heat up some leftover pasta and veggies, or cut up some fruit - I need to work on prepping some easy healthy snacks for when I have no motivation.
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I don't have a child, so I don't know exactly how your feeling but I can some what relate. The first month I spent in Texas I was miserable and very much feeling like you. I knew no one and spent all day in my house, discontent. I could say to myself "Go take a walk. Go knit. Go ride your bike," but when you're lonely you just don't have the motivation to do things.
And as for the online shopping - I spent hours each day doing such. My parents didn't get why packages from UO and Amazon kept coming to the house. Half the time I barely used what I bought, but it gave me something to look forward to.
But it gets better. Life can suck super hard, but eventually little by little, month by month things will improve. And I may be 2,000 miles and a time zone away - but I am ALWAYS here for you. I love you too much not to be.
Things will get better my love and you'll be the perfect housewife with the perfect home and perfect baby that you want to be. Just hang in there and call me when you need me.
Hang in there,
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