story time...

Jun 17, 2005 19:19


Chapters 1-2 )

Leave a comment

Comments 1

Because you asked. kittenkiller15 June 17 2005, 22:56:08 UTC
Change the name. Draven...ugh. Describe the car more. Dont add dark to crimson. Crimson isn't another word for red, it's a specific shade. Dark crimson would be maroon. You cant have a dark flash. A flash is a source of light. Faint is a better word.
"She knew that once he found out the truth behind her, he'd live but right now she wanted to get to know this man." Leave, you mean?

Plot hole: Why would you ask someone you found laying in the road to come to your house and not the hospital?

Reply


Leave a comment

Up