...I'm so lonely...

Today I felt like a defective doll. I was pretty, I was smiling, but I was not happy. I kept hurting myself -knocking into sharp points on desks, bumping my knees, hands, and head- and I feel so sore. I'm really depressed today. I feel like I cannot breathe!!!! Why do I feel this way? It does me no good.

What is it that makes me want to pick a scabs soo much? I can't resist it!!!! I know, I'm gross.

I'm so in love. But it's not like I pictured it to be. It's not a feeling of extreeeeeme intensity, or overwhelming lust, romance, or such. It's just this feeling of PEACE with someone. A feeling of absolute comfort. I have those other urges too, but this one feeling is the foundation of them all. And because I have this sense of comfort, I am so

I am oh so busy with school! I am really quite the scholar. I admit it, I do enjoy school. Recently though, outside of school, I have gotten into Franz Kafka's work. His stories INTRIGUE me! So, I'm on the quest to read all of his work ( Read more... )

I just came to the sad realization today that I constantly live my life in fear. I'm always to afraid to be happy because I question the truth, or the constance of things. I hate change, so I'm always afraid of change, because that makes things and LIFE unconstant. I'm a creature of habit, but I fear that will be all taken away somehow. And there I ( Read more... )

I have a strange yet awful feeling. I hope nothing bad happens!

Man, there is a lounge band next door BUTCHERING "how sweet it is(to be loved by you)" I hope Marvin shows up in each of their bedrooms tonight and beats the fuck out of them!!!!! He should bludgon them to death!

I woke up to a WOOOORRRLD of pain today. I wanted to take a knife and gouge my ovaries right out of my abdomen. I was in such pain!!!!! But now, with the help of a couple of pills, I'm a-okay ( Read more... )

1. i could wake up everyday next to someone i love.
2. i'd get letters that take my breath away.
3. things would work out the way i want them to... for once.