Sometimes I just wonder if I'll ever be enough. I feel like I'm invisible to the ones my heart bleeds for. If I was skinnier, less intelligent, more fake... Ignorant... Would you finally see me ( Read more... )

I'm not too sure what it even means anymore. This "blogging"... But I'm here, Of course the thing that prompts another late night confession ( Read more... )

It really isn't an easy one. I know most are thoughtful and intuitive, continually growing and advancing with years and wisdom, however I myself find there are some days where I get lost in it. Today, is one of those days. There are a lot of things I want to address in this, however I'm not too sure that my finger tips are moving as quickly and ( Read more... )

I only find myself writing in this stupid journal anymore, when there's no one to talk to and I feel abandoned. Ok, maybe that's a little over the top. I've told multiple people my story, and just feel like nothing has made me feel any better. Tonight has been horrible, to say the least. I'm running on minimal sleep, have all the stress of being ( Read more... )

I fucking hate my job.

I hate my job more and more. It's so boring and I'm definitely over sitting here doing nothing on a daily basis.

Every day that I'm here all I think about his how I can't wait to leave, and how I can't wait to see Keoki.

It makes for a boring work week, and I find myself finding reasons to get out of here more often than not. FML.

Today, I find my mind wandering. I don't think I could stay on track even with a bottle of speed in front of me. All I can do is day dream and ask questions to myself about my life and where I'm going. About my future and if there are other things I should be spending my time on. My biggest issue has been not being able to stay committed. I just ( Read more... )

Are in a constant struggle for what I should do. I put myself in these situations that eat at me. I hardly write in here anymore, but all I can think about at work today, is how to grieve normally, and move on. I have a really hard time moving on. I'm struggling with my emotions ( Read more... )

I can't even explain how unappealing this gets more and more.
I miss my old life, and really would like it back.

I think I'm just really being a downer because I feel so ill. The strangest things have been happening to me lately as well.

I am thinking that I am beginning to lose my mind. I feel like death.

So many things going on in my head right now. I just can't believe how everything is.

tonight, we lost a beautiful, amazing, creative, helpful, loving, accepting, honest, loyal, and gentle human being.

my list could continue on forever, but Judd Sewell, I will never forget you.

this seems surreal to me. Everything.

I just wish it was different.