some nights i just want to smash everything around me. and as angry as that may make me seem, i feel no anger whatsoever in those moments.

maybe its realization that harmony needs to be broken sometimes. its a natural need. and the resulting chaos is just as peaceful and beautiful as the harmony that preceded.

none of this is about anyone else. it never was. it never will be.

figuring that out is just the first of the many reasons why.

Words are hard for me. They always have been and probably always will be. And I've just always found it easier to cite some song lyrics to convey what I was feeling or trying to express.

And the more I think about it and the more I see it, the more I think you're exactly right when you jokingly say I'm a fucking mess.

scabs turn to scars. the scars will forever remain. a reminder of the darkness we left behind. a reminder of the day we began our climb ( Read more... )

everything in this world is relative. especially our perception of happiness. too many what ifs. not enough rolling of the dice. too much fear of the result and not enough faith in resilience within the human spirit ( Read more... )

28 years. and I honestly wonder how many more I have left.

I will choke until I swallow.
Life is just as much a battle as ever. i guess i'll never accept those forces against me which I cannot control. And as I get older I'm becoming more accepting of being a slave for the rest of my life.

Rest your trigger on my finger, bang my head upon the fault ( Read more... )

for some time now ive felt like i was being pulled in a certain direction. but i couldnt quite figure out why or exactly what i was supposed to do. to put it another way, i dont think i was interpreting things in the right way. it was just that it seemed like so many things were providing clues as to the future ( Read more... )

i hope someday I'll get beyond being amazed at how easily people can pinpoint me as the root of their past unhappiness. Or maybe immaturity will rule forever and as i recall, no one held a gun to your head. if anything, the direction of this petty grudge holding should be pointed towards you ( Read more... )

it took some time, but when you said farewell, you meant it. it certainly feels strange to feel so heartbroken about losing a friend. but in the end, just as it was all along, your words were lies. another set of broken promises ( Read more... )

deep down is where my faith in humanity exists. i believe that someday we'll all stop this fruitless searching and appreciate the beauty that surrounds us. someday we'll realize that happiness is right beside us and has been all along. we'll realize that all that's missed or ignored or discounted along the way. i really do have faith in ( Read more... )