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Comments 36

katwoman76 January 6 2007, 13:38:11 UTC
Wonderful new chapter.
Thanks for updating.

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brassebouillon January 6 2007, 14:51:03 UTC
Glad you like it! Thanks for your nice comment :)

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slinn01 January 6 2007, 14:59:08 UTC
I'm not sure if I've reviewewed your fic or not, but I wanted to let you know that I think it's really great. It's so different from everything else that I've read and I think it's very creative. Awesome job and keep up the great work! Thanks for posting!

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brassebouillon January 6 2007, 15:01:26 UTC
And thanks for commenting!...I'm glad you liked it and I hope you'll enjoy the next chapters :)

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ally_1423 January 6 2007, 14:34:40 UTC
Hee, I like this just as much second time around... I really like some of the additions you made after I sent it back to you :)

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brassebouillon January 6 2007, 14:56:47 UTC
Thanks for the incredible work you did on this chapter!
All the credits for the additions goes to Anne35 and her great suggestions :)
All the suggestions are welcomed (I'm currently trying to figure out Little Taylor as you suggested for the next chapters! Totally forgot her when I wrote them)

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anne35 January 6 2007, 17:30:28 UTC
You don't need to give me credit, but thanks. I just helped "tweak" your English.

I'm glad to see you had the chance to post. Hopefully, you feel a bit more rested now.

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brassebouillon January 7 2007, 01:26:52 UTC
You helped a lot!
I'm totally enjoying one of the rare week ends without any work to do!
Have a nice WE!

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yessi_5 January 6 2007, 16:00:46 UTC
Oh, wow, this is a great story! I don't know why I had missed this before, but I just read all the chapters and my heart must be permanently broken.
Poor little Ryan - though in the end he's one lucky guy to end up with the Cohens.

I like your ideas and the way you portray how little Ryan slowly starts to trust the Cohens, one step at a time.

I’ve put a oversized pink post-it on my desk “ Comma is BEFORE quotation mark”.
THANK YOU! Thank you so much for having trouble with this, too. I've got the same post-it since the beginning of this week. Poor beachtree (*waves thankfully*)had to beta my story and it took her ages to make me understand how it works in English. And still there where quite a couple of stray commas when I finally posted. I hate English punctuation... Thankfully the LJ community is very patient with us, who don't have English as first language!

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anne35 January 6 2007, 17:27:12 UTC
Don't feel bad guys. I hate English punctuation as much as you do, and English is my one and only language. Poor loracj has to spend an obscene amount of time fixing my commas!

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yessi_5 January 6 2007, 17:33:04 UTC
What made me go crazy was, that I didn't even realize that there's a difference. I had read so many English stories and when beach set the commas BEFORE the quotation mark I was all "What's that?". So very weird.

MS Word's search and replace function is pretty good at finding them, but still there are always some remaining commas AFTER the quotation (as we would do it in German or French).

So I'm truly grateful that I'm not the only one.
Praise to our betas!

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beachtree January 6 2007, 18:38:33 UTC
Yeah, I just found this story as I began my mass digging out from my hole to China. The ketchup is just drowning me. Hee!

You know that I really respect your command of English. My French and German leave much, MUCH to be desired, so I am in awe of your use and understanding of English- especially idioms and casual terminology.

No worries on the punctuation! At least I knew to expect it since I'm familiar with German, French, etc.

And now, I should leave the author an actual comment too!

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bela1978 January 6 2007, 16:52:30 UTC
That was a great chapter. I'm looking forward to more. Keep up the good work : )

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brassebouillon January 6 2007, 19:06:21 UTC
Thanks for your comment! More will come asap!
:)

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beachtree January 6 2007, 18:51:20 UTC
I'll chime in by saying I'm a sucker for an AU with a very young Ryan. At this age, he's already the Ryan we recognize since he's experienced so much of what has shaped him during those crucial first five years. Even if he is spared the pain he would have endured in the following ten years, those scars will remain and his personality will be the same. He's still Ryan, he just enters the Cohens' home and lives earlier. That means we have the opportunity to witness a more vulnerable, dependent Ryan change and grow and all without the initial rejection, hostility and trepidation that distanced him so much from Kirsten and made his adaptation and adjustment that much more challenging and involved. Thankfully, at least that one major insecurity and the stigma of the "criminal" mislabeling won't exist ( ... )

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brassebouillon January 6 2007, 19:05:49 UTC
Thanks for your comments!
Traumas will haunt Little Ryan, especially when a jealous Little Luke appears and when a totally drunk Dawn comes to school (spoiler for next chapters), but the Cohen Team is there for him!
I'll also show the consequences of Ryan's earlier adoption on Seth. Still a nerd, but less self involved and with friends (and still in love with Little Summer, of course!)

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beachtree January 6 2007, 19:15:36 UTC
De rien!

I'm sorry for the all-inclusive, blanket comment, but I'll try to be more current from this point forward.

I'll be curious to see how the poor kid's past does continue to impact all the facets of his life and how he will certainly struggle with trusting new people and most certainly feel guilty if he starts to forget to miss his first family so much, or if he is simply torn between them. Being ripped out of one world and deposited in an another is a huge trauma, even if the new environment appears to be all anyone could want. The point is, it's not his home, he's with strangers, he misses what he knows even if it was painful and dangerous and frightening most of the time. He's all alone in so many ways and has no idea what to do or what will happen next.

Good luck!

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brassebouillon January 7 2007, 01:31:59 UTC
I'm surfing on the internet to gather information on the different traumas adopted kids could suffer of. So I hope that fanfic could be as realistic as possible. Little Ryan's anxiety will increase in the next chapter and the Cohen are going to deal with it and to get some help!
Hope you'll enjoy the next chapters and thanks for your interesting comments!
:)

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