just thought i'd leave a note since i havent updated in a long time.

to let anyone who still uses lj/reads this know that i am

1) still alive
2) still trying

and still feeling like im stuck on failing

if you look closely enough, you can see a person's heart beat through the skin, the blood pulsing through his/her veins. if you look hard enough, you can see the thinnest cracks on the walls of the most statute, majestic Church. you can spot the spaces in the pavement where weeds are threatening to grow, hear the most subtle waverings in the voice ( Read more... )

when do you tell your body to push further? when do you let your mind succumb to your body's limitations? when must 'mind over matter' be a mantra, and when can you be allowed to deem it as just pure bull? when is it okay to show Weak, when is it silly to try and appear Strong?

i dont understand most things anymore, the who what when where how and why.

all i can think about is the end.
which is when?

detachment

i started cooking and baking late last year. i can't remember which month it was. august? september? october ( Read more... )

what to do when you are sick of yourself ( Read more... )

i feel so ugly.

they say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder but most days it's like people dont even see me.

what then?

this listlessness pisses this little miss off.
big time.

i need to dance.

but also.. im so bloated i would not dare to be seen in a leotard.

we watched Thor today.
it was awesome.

i need to dance.

keep the corners of your mouth turned up, turned up
keep your eyes wide open, eyes wide open